¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-21 625

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
First, they have less conversations with their children.
Because of this reason, some of my friends don't like to talk with their parents.
Second, they think about their children's study too much.
So my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.
And the last one, they try to stop playing outside.
Because of this, as we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.
Because of these reasons, I think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
>> CORRECT

First, they have less conversations with their children.
>> CORRECT

Because of this reason, some of my friends don't like to talk with their parents.
>> CORRECT

Second, they think about their children's study too much.
>> Second, they think about their children's education too much.

So my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.
>> This is why my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.

And the last one, they try to stop playing outside.
>> 
And the last one is that they try to stop them from playing outside.

Because of this, as we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.
>>As we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.

Because of these reasons, I think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124524 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1
124523 There are many ways you can learn to cook. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 939
124522 everything which is about tennis. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1395
124521 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1256
124520 Do you agree that children should be protected at home, in... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 978
124519 What are the advantages of traveling alone? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1236
124518 How do you feel about your parents growing older? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 4
124517 What pets are most popular in your country? Do you have any... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1045
124516 How can using social media put your privacy at risk? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 2
124515 end ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 9
124514 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 3
124513 How did you manage overcoming yourself from using social media? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 937
124512 What did you do with your first salary? What were the things you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 627
124511 Define gender equality. What are the factors that should be... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 682
124510 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1
124509 What was the single best thing that happened this past year? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 958
124508 I love this new year! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 852
124507 Do you prefer to watch, listen to or read about news? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 0
124506 29.Dec.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1
124505 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04