¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-21 710

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
First, they have less conversations with their children.
Because of this reason, some of my friends don't like to talk with their parents.
Second, they think about their children's study too much.
So my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.
And the last one, they try to stop playing outside.
Because of this, as we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.
Because of these reasons, I think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
>> CORRECT

First, they have less conversations with their children.
>> CORRECT

Because of this reason, some of my friends don't like to talk with their parents.
>> CORRECT

Second, they think about their children's study too much.
>> Second, they think about their children's education too much.

So my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.
>> This is why my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.

And the last one, they try to stop playing outside.
>> 
And the last one is that they try to stop them from playing outside.

Because of this, as we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.
>>As we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.

Because of these reasons, I think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120857 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 857
120856 Have there been any famous trials in your/in another country... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 917
120855 The chores i dislike ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 869
120854 What do friends mean to you? What makes a friend a best friend? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1028
120853 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 2
120852 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 3
120851 Which events in your life are important changes? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 545
120850 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 721
120849 If your life was a movie, what would it be and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 553
120848 About positive thinking ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1
120847 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 669
120846 homework on July 15th ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 649
120845 homework Á¶*¸§ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-18 0
120844 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 685
120843 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 0
120842 Tell me about your first impression of your boss. ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 582
120841 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 452
120840 Watching ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1
120839 Can you describe your current job? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 476
120838 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 749

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04