¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-21 556

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
First, they have less conversations with their children.
Because of this reason, some of my friends don't like to talk with their parents.
Second, they think about their children's study too much.
So my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.
And the last one, they try to stop playing outside.
Because of this, as we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.
Because of these reasons, I think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
>> CORRECT

First, they have less conversations with their children.
>> CORRECT

Because of this reason, some of my friends don't like to talk with their parents.
>> CORRECT

Second, they think about their children's study too much.
>> Second, they think about their children's education too much.

So my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.
>> This is why my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.

And the last one, they try to stop playing outside.
>> 
And the last one is that they try to stop them from playing outside.

Because of this, as we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.
>>As we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.

Because of these reasons, I think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120324 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 0
120323 How do you feel when someone disagrees with everything you have... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 0
120322 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 918
120321 What are the most effective ways to make new friends? ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1
120320 Abroad ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 2
120319 1. homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 2
120318 Should your country accept refugees? Why or why not? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 544
120317 self introduction ¼Õ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 3
120316 Books Have The Power to Change The World ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 488
120315 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 3
120314 Do you think it\'s okay to drink rainwater? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 413
120313 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 766
120312 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 876
120311 dinner with my family ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 438
120310 What do people in your country collect? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 566
120309 How do you feel about your parents growing older? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 610
120308 What was the biggest challenge you\'ve faced this year? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1075
120307 How can teachers/professors try to prevent students from... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 469
120306 6/29 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 540
120305 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 320

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04