¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-21 440

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
First, they have less conversations with their children.
Because of this reason, some of my friends don't like to talk with their parents.
Second, they think about their children's study too much.
So my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.
And the last one, they try to stop playing outside.
Because of this, as we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.
Because of these reasons, I think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
>> CORRECT

First, they have less conversations with their children.
>> CORRECT

Because of this reason, some of my friends don't like to talk with their parents.
>> CORRECT

Second, they think about their children's study too much.
>> Second, they think about their children's education too much.

So my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.
>> This is why my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.

And the last one, they try to stop playing outside.
>> 
And the last one is that they try to stop them from playing outside.

Because of this, as we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.
>>As we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.

Because of these reasons, I think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121424 To what extent do you think that the educational system tries to... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 370
121423 Are you a better leader or a follower? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 716
121422 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 728
121421 Talk about successful people you look up to, tell something... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 330
121420 Homework ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 697
121419 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 515
121418 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 701
121417 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 0
121416 Have you ever given a false excuse to get out of something you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 566
121415 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 2
121414 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 361
121413 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 3
121412 My hope ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1
121411 Diary ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 2
121410 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 0
121409 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 737
121408 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 378
121407 Are parties or gatherings better in people¡¯s houses or in party... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 523
121406 Why do you think people started leaving the rural areas and... ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 1000
121405 Tell me about your worst travel experience. ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-08 649

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04