¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-07-21 465

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good afternoon, Donna!
Do you remember that I met my friends last Monday?
At that time, we talked about our Hospital Franchise.
And then they decided to join our Franchise, thus we are going to contract this evening.
Our Franchise company barely make money, because we started the business not a long ago.
But, who knows? Someday It might give us lots of money.
We will probably drink an whiskey together tonight.
What a wonderful day!
Now I am back to the homework.
Many clients are afraid of medical procedures, even if it is not painful and just simple treatment.
So, they usually ask us. "Is there a pain?" "Is this safe?" "Which side effect did this treatment have?"
In this situation, we try to relieve them with our tongues.
I usually say, "It's not a serious problem. It's so easy. Most babies can do that, too. so don't worry."
Besides we can give the special doll to the coward.
They can grasp the doll when they feel pain or fear.
Why don't you remove your moles in the clinic?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim, good evening!

Congratulations to you and your fellow doctors on your new hospital franchise! You are unstoppable and your network of clients as well as doctors are growing bigger and better as time goes by like a fine wine. Anyway, cheers to your success as a team! Now, you have to work harder than ever to serve more clients in the best possible ways in the future. Last week was a series of unfortunate events and this week, the wheels have turned and you are on top of the game. What good luck indeed!

Now, beauty equals pain- this is a fact for people who have gone under the knives and procedures to look their best in the premise of being financially able. For ordinary citizens who also want to try a beauty procedure for the first time, it is normal to feel scared or unsure about getting one. However, as you have said, comforting words may calm them down with some help of anesthesia. ^^ I am not sure, I have never had any procedure before.

As of my mole, I might remove it when it gets itchy or weird on my face. For now, it's still bearable. Well, your exposition below showed evidence of your creative witing abilities by using different types of sentences like questions and exlclamatory aside from the usual which is declarative. Remember to place a comma after transition words at the start of sentences such as 'besides, but, and, etc.) It was a very good piece of writing, thank you for your time and diligence. 

-T. Donna~

Good afternoon, Donna!
>> Correct!

Do you remember that I met my friends last Monday?
>> Correct!

At that time, we talked about our Hospital Franchise.
>> Correct!

And then they decided to join our Franchise, thus we are going to contract this evening.
>> And, then they decided to join our franchise thus, we are going to (make/ sign) a contract this evening.

Our Franchise company barely make money, because we started the business not a long ago.
>> Our franchise company barely makes money because we started the business (not long ago/ just recently).

But, who knows? Someday It might give us lots of money.
>> Correct! 
Or: ... Someday, it might give us lots of money.

We will probably drink an whiskey together tonight.
>> We will probably drink whiskey together tonight.

What a wonderful day!
>> Correct!

Now I am back to the homework.
>> Correct!

Many clients are afraid of medical procedures, even if it is not painful and just simple treatment.
>> Many clients are afraid of medical procedures, even if it is not painful and just a simple treatment.

So, they usually ask us. "Is there a pain?" "Is this safe?" "Which side effect did this treatment have?"
>> Correct!
Or: So, they usually ask us., "Is it painful?" "Is this safe?" "What side effects does this treatment have?"

In this situation, we try to relieve them with our tongues.
>> Correct!

I usually say, "It's not a serious problem. It's so easy. Most babies can do that, too. so don't worry."
>> Correct!
Or: ...So, don't worry."

Besides we can give the special doll to the coward.
>> Correct!
Or: Besides, we can give...

They can grasp the doll when they feel pain or fear.
>> Correct!

Why don't you remove your moles in the clinic?
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117711 2022.3.24 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 633
117710 If there is a place in America that you wanted to live in, where... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117709 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 670
117708 Which is worse, obesity or anorexia? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 510
117707 HOMEWORK ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 2
117706 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 343
117705 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 331
117704 Where is it best to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 158
117703 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 397
117702 3/24 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 480
117701 Are you someone who likes change? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 708
117700 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 3
117699 Writing Task(Mar 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 229
117698 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 6
117697 Why do you think conversations are important? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 698
117696 How many hours of sleep do you need and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117695 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 310
117694 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 2
117693 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 539
117692 What takes up most of your time? Do you think you manage your... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04