¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-07-21 360

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good afternoon, Donna!
Do you remember that I met my friends last Monday?
At that time, we talked about our Hospital Franchise.
And then they decided to join our Franchise, thus we are going to contract this evening.
Our Franchise company barely make money, because we started the business not a long ago.
But, who knows? Someday It might give us lots of money.
We will probably drink an whiskey together tonight.
What a wonderful day!
Now I am back to the homework.
Many clients are afraid of medical procedures, even if it is not painful and just simple treatment.
So, they usually ask us. "Is there a pain?" "Is this safe?" "Which side effect did this treatment have?"
In this situation, we try to relieve them with our tongues.
I usually say, "It's not a serious problem. It's so easy. Most babies can do that, too. so don't worry."
Besides we can give the special doll to the coward.
They can grasp the doll when they feel pain or fear.
Why don't you remove your moles in the clinic?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim, good evening!

Congratulations to you and your fellow doctors on your new hospital franchise! You are unstoppable and your network of clients as well as doctors are growing bigger and better as time goes by like a fine wine. Anyway, cheers to your success as a team! Now, you have to work harder than ever to serve more clients in the best possible ways in the future. Last week was a series of unfortunate events and this week, the wheels have turned and you are on top of the game. What good luck indeed!

Now, beauty equals pain- this is a fact for people who have gone under the knives and procedures to look their best in the premise of being financially able. For ordinary citizens who also want to try a beauty procedure for the first time, it is normal to feel scared or unsure about getting one. However, as you have said, comforting words may calm them down with some help of anesthesia. ^^ I am not sure, I have never had any procedure before.

As of my mole, I might remove it when it gets itchy or weird on my face. For now, it's still bearable. Well, your exposition below showed evidence of your creative witing abilities by using different types of sentences like questions and exlclamatory aside from the usual which is declarative. Remember to place a comma after transition words at the start of sentences such as 'besides, but, and, etc.) It was a very good piece of writing, thank you for your time and diligence. 

-T. Donna~

Good afternoon, Donna!
>> Correct!

Do you remember that I met my friends last Monday?
>> Correct!

At that time, we talked about our Hospital Franchise.
>> Correct!

And then they decided to join our Franchise, thus we are going to contract this evening.
>> And, then they decided to join our franchise thus, we are going to (make/ sign) a contract this evening.

Our Franchise company barely make money, because we started the business not a long ago.
>> Our franchise company barely makes money because we started the business (not long ago/ just recently).

But, who knows? Someday It might give us lots of money.
>> Correct! 
Or: ... Someday, it might give us lots of money.

We will probably drink an whiskey together tonight.
>> We will probably drink whiskey together tonight.

What a wonderful day!
>> Correct!

Now I am back to the homework.
>> Correct!

Many clients are afraid of medical procedures, even if it is not painful and just simple treatment.
>> Many clients are afraid of medical procedures, even if it is not painful and just a simple treatment.

So, they usually ask us. "Is there a pain?" "Is this safe?" "Which side effect did this treatment have?"
>> Correct!
Or: So, they usually ask us., "Is it painful?" "Is this safe?" "What side effects does this treatment have?"

In this situation, we try to relieve them with our tongues.
>> Correct!

I usually say, "It's not a serious problem. It's so easy. Most babies can do that, too. so don't worry."
>> Correct!
Or: ...So, don't worry."

Besides we can give the special doll to the coward.
>> Correct!
Or: Besides, we can give...

They can grasp the doll when they feel pain or fear.
>> Correct!

Why don't you remove your moles in the clinic?
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119730 homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 126
119729 6.9 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 91
119728 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 3
119727 [Homework] Q. Please tell me about your favorite movie. ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119726 Should brands like Victoria\'s Secret use plus-sized models? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 1
119725 The couch potato. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119724 What would your ideal house or apartment look like? / What are... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119723 Why do you think facing death is a difficult experience? How can... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 140
119722 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 0
119721 My favorite Season À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 149
119720 What is the most expensive meal you have ever eaten? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 135
119719 What do you think is the best job in the world? Why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 107
119718 6.8 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 71
119717 Have you been lost there in Dallas? How about to other places? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 1
119716 What is your most dangerous experience in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 104
119715 6/8 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 102
119714 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 82
119713 What are you preparing for these days? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 2
119712 How long do you want to live? Please discuss your answer. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 159
119711 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 134

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04