¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-07-21 493

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good afternoon, Donna!
Do you remember that I met my friends last Monday?
At that time, we talked about our Hospital Franchise.
And then they decided to join our Franchise, thus we are going to contract this evening.
Our Franchise company barely make money, because we started the business not a long ago.
But, who knows? Someday It might give us lots of money.
We will probably drink an whiskey together tonight.
What a wonderful day!
Now I am back to the homework.
Many clients are afraid of medical procedures, even if it is not painful and just simple treatment.
So, they usually ask us. "Is there a pain?" "Is this safe?" "Which side effect did this treatment have?"
In this situation, we try to relieve them with our tongues.
I usually say, "It's not a serious problem. It's so easy. Most babies can do that, too. so don't worry."
Besides we can give the special doll to the coward.
They can grasp the doll when they feel pain or fear.
Why don't you remove your moles in the clinic?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim, good evening!

Congratulations to you and your fellow doctors on your new hospital franchise! You are unstoppable and your network of clients as well as doctors are growing bigger and better as time goes by like a fine wine. Anyway, cheers to your success as a team! Now, you have to work harder than ever to serve more clients in the best possible ways in the future. Last week was a series of unfortunate events and this week, the wheels have turned and you are on top of the game. What good luck indeed!

Now, beauty equals pain- this is a fact for people who have gone under the knives and procedures to look their best in the premise of being financially able. For ordinary citizens who also want to try a beauty procedure for the first time, it is normal to feel scared or unsure about getting one. However, as you have said, comforting words may calm them down with some help of anesthesia. ^^ I am not sure, I have never had any procedure before.

As of my mole, I might remove it when it gets itchy or weird on my face. For now, it's still bearable. Well, your exposition below showed evidence of your creative witing abilities by using different types of sentences like questions and exlclamatory aside from the usual which is declarative. Remember to place a comma after transition words at the start of sentences such as 'besides, but, and, etc.) It was a very good piece of writing, thank you for your time and diligence. 

-T. Donna~

Good afternoon, Donna!
>> Correct!

Do you remember that I met my friends last Monday?
>> Correct!

At that time, we talked about our Hospital Franchise.
>> Correct!

And then they decided to join our Franchise, thus we are going to contract this evening.
>> And, then they decided to join our franchise thus, we are going to (make/ sign) a contract this evening.

Our Franchise company barely make money, because we started the business not a long ago.
>> Our franchise company barely makes money because we started the business (not long ago/ just recently).

But, who knows? Someday It might give us lots of money.
>> Correct! 
Or: ... Someday, it might give us lots of money.

We will probably drink an whiskey together tonight.
>> We will probably drink whiskey together tonight.

What a wonderful day!
>> Correct!

Now I am back to the homework.
>> Correct!

Many clients are afraid of medical procedures, even if it is not painful and just simple treatment.
>> Many clients are afraid of medical procedures, even if it is not painful and just a simple treatment.

So, they usually ask us. "Is there a pain?" "Is this safe?" "Which side effect did this treatment have?"
>> Correct!
Or: So, they usually ask us., "Is it painful?" "Is this safe?" "What side effects does this treatment have?"

In this situation, we try to relieve them with our tongues.
>> Correct!

I usually say, "It's not a serious problem. It's so easy. Most babies can do that, too. so don't worry."
>> Correct!
Or: ...So, don't worry."

Besides we can give the special doll to the coward.
>> Correct!
Or: Besides, we can give...

They can grasp the doll when they feel pain or fear.
>> Correct!

Why don't you remove your moles in the clinic?
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121154 If you owned a company and like to hire someone, what kind of... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 940
121153 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 855
121152 How do you think can racism be stopped? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 608
121151 07.28.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 1
121150 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 794
121149 About the earthquake ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 959
121148 About the growth of our company. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 2
121147 Excessive population increase ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 985
121146 Why did you choose your major? Do you have any regrets? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 610
121145 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 776
121144 Previous class review 1 À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 4
121143 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 753
121142 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 823
121141 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 1
121140 What do you think about being close with your coworkers? is it... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 872
121139 Can you tell me something about your major and the reason you... ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 572
121138 Have you ever missed a train or plane? What happened? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 2
121137 Have you ever felt like giving up studying English? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 0
121136 travelling Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 1
121135 How does body language help you to communicate? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04