¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is religion important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿µ
2022-07-20 433

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think everyone thinks different that religion is important. Because there are many people who go to meeting because they believe religion but there are many people who do not believe religion. So I think there is people who think religion is important and people who think it is not important will be divided.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Chloe! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think everyone thinks different that religion is important.
>> I think everyone thinks differently regarding whether religion is important or not. 

Because there are many people who go to meeting because they believe religion but there are many people who do not believe religion. 
>> It is because there are many people who believe in it and there are some that don't. 

So I think there is people who think religion is important and people who think it is not important will be divided.
>> So I think there are some people who think that religion is important and some of them don't. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122848 Travel ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 1828
122847 2022.10.06. °­*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 1
122846 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 1626
122845 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2
122844 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2249
122843 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2483
122842 What activities don\'t you like to do? Why? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2504
122841 Do you get excited by new technology? What kinds of technology... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 1814
122840 What is your favorite mood? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2028
122839 What do you think of plastic surgery? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2073
122838 If you could go to places like deserts or islands, would you get... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2388
122837 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2168
122836 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2055
122835 When I think of my future.. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2368
122834 Advances in medical technology mean people are living longer.... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2356
122833 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 1
122832 When can homework be counterproductive? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 3142
122831 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2361
122830 What adjectives would you use to describe your personality? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 3005
122829 Why do you want to study English? ½Å*°ü ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04