¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is religion important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿µ
2022-07-20 591

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think everyone thinks different that religion is important. Because there are many people who go to meeting because they believe religion but there are many people who do not believe religion. So I think there is people who think religion is important and people who think it is not important will be divided.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Chloe! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think everyone thinks different that religion is important.
>> I think everyone thinks differently regarding whether religion is important or not. 

Because there are many people who go to meeting because they believe religion but there are many people who do not believe religion. 
>> It is because there are many people who believe in it and there are some that don't. 

So I think there is people who think religion is important and people who think it is not important will be divided.
>> So I think there are some people who think that religion is important and some of them don't. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124612 What do you like best about staying at home? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 1274
124611 Which school subject do you like the most? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 818
124610 What¡¯s new with you? ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 604
124609 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 2
124608 about COVID-19 ÃÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 940
124607 If you could buy only one of these two things, would you choose... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 937
124606 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 786
124605 my biggest goal. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 782
124604 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 768
124603 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 891
124602 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 934
124601 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 763
124600 Choosing correct verb ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 728
124599 What savings goals do you have? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 797
124598 When was the last time you went shopping? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 3073
124597 What will the city of the future look like? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 827
124596 Do you or would you encourage your children to watch Disney... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 620
124595 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 4
124594 Opinion of being alone sometimes ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 926
124593 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 871

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04