¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is religion important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿µ
2022-07-20 341

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think everyone thinks different that religion is important. Because there are many people who go to meeting because they believe religion but there are many people who do not believe religion. So I think there is people who think religion is important and people who think it is not important will be divided.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Chloe! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think everyone thinks different that religion is important.
>> I think everyone thinks differently regarding whether religion is important or not. 

Because there are many people who go to meeting because they believe religion but there are many people who do not believe religion. 
>> It is because there are many people who believe in it and there are some that don't. 

So I think there is people who think religion is important and people who think it is not important will be divided.
>> So I think there are some people who think that religion is important and some of them don't. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121686 What is your weakness? How will you make it strong? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 683
121685 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 693
121684 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 0
121683 About my think of Television. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 637
121682 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 0
121681 recall ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 3
121680 Homework. ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 529
121679 08.17.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1
121678 yes I do Á¶*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 789
121677 How would you describe the difference between a vice and an... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 3
121676 What do you think of the music they play in supermarkets and... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 1287
121675 Health care system Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 2
121674 Where is your favorite place to read? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 1053
121673 8/17 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 826
121672 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 807
121671 What are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping at a mall? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 743
121670 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 990
121669 Game of Throne. ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 453
121668 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 618
121667 Describe to me your dream house.( Where is it located) ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 390

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04