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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-07-20 329

회원님의 영작문

Good afternoon, Donna!
It's a typical summer today, too hot and wet.
Around noon, I saw strange patients who are men, but look like women.
I think they are transgenders. Is this a correct word?
As we know it, homosexual people tend to be infected with serious sexual diseases such as AIDS, syphilis, herpes.
So I was very careful not to touch their bodies directly.
I think atypical sexual desire is a psychotic disease.
And I heard that our government have spent lots of money to treat AIDS every years.
They are dangerous to us, so I don't like them.
How about you?
Don't you like those people?
Anyway, this is my homework.
I like listening musics, watching films and paintings.
Among them, my favorite art is a music.
In my high school years, I was not good at painting seriously.
Hence, my scores of art class was the worst in the school.
However, my singing is not bad, I think.
On my way to work, I listened to the song that you recommended.
That was so sweet, and I enjoyed it.
See you~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello! Good evening once again, Dr. Kim.

It is interesting to know that you treated transgenders today. They in fact comprise a huge market of beauty surgery in our country. I strongly believe that there is ten to twenty percent of them in the total population of men in the Philippines. I do not loathe them. I respect gays in our country because they are more hardworking then so many men most of the time. I sometimes joke them to be my boyfriend when I was younger and they tell me that they are even more beautiful than me! ^^ In short, the LGBTQ++ in our country are ordinary people. We just live with them like normal, ordinary people every day. 

I think you will have more and more clients just like them soon. For as long as they do not show you any uncomfortable behavior, you do not need to worry... Anyway, I guess you are underrating yourself. I really think that you are a very good singer by the tone of your voice. I also listened to the song on YouTube of your favorite singer before and I thought that you have some refined curation of music.

As evident on your writing below, the majority of your sentences are correct, congratulations. You really slept well last night. 

See you again soon. 

-T. Donna~

Good afternoon, Donna!
>> Correct!

It's a typical summer today, too hot and wet.
>> Correct!

Around noon, I saw strange patients who are men, but look like women.
>> Correct!

I think they are transgenders. Is this a correct word?
>> Correct!

As we know it, homosexual people tend to be infected with serious sexual diseases such as AIDS, syphilis, herpes.
>> As we know it, homosexual people tend to be infected with serious sexual diseases such as AIDS, syphilis, and herpes.

So I was very careful not to touch their bodies directly.
>> Correct!

I think atypical sexual desire is a psychotic disease.
>> Correct!

And I heard that our government have spent lots of money to treat AIDS every years.
>> Correct!

They are dangerous to us, so I don't like them.
>> Correct!

How about you?
>> Correct!

Don't you like those people?
>> Correct!

Anyway, this is my homework.
>> Correct!

I like listening musics, watching films and paintings.
>> I like listening to music, watching films, and paintings.

Among them, my favorite art is a music.
>> Among them, my favorite art is music.

In my high school years, I was not good at painting seriously.
>> Correct!

Hence, my scores of art class was the worst in the school.
>> Hence, my scores in art class was the worst in the school.

However, my singing is not bad, I think.
>> Correct!

On my way to work, I listened to the song that you recommended.
>> Correct!

That was so sweet, and I enjoyed it.
>> Correct!

See you~
>> Correct!
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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