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영작교정 게시판

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Have there been any famous trials in your/in another country that you were particularly interested i

작성자: 권*원
2022-07-18 822

회원님의 영작문

The most interesting trial to me was the Juvenile trial that happened last year in the United States.
A victim and criminal were students who went to the same high school.
But one day, the victim was murdered with a gun.
The reason the criminal shot him was that the victim didn't give him money.
In a trial, even though the mother of the victim forgave the criminal, the criminal laughed at his mother.
He already knew he won't be sentenced seriously because he is not an adult yet.
But the judge got to check this and sentenced him to life imprisonment even though he was a juvenile.
I can't forget the criminal's facial expression.
He started to cry and prayed for forgiveness.
But it was too late, already.
He is still in prison. I'm glad for a judge to sentence fairly.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Amazing, Jiwon. You did a wonderful job with this one. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic. I appreciate it. I only tweaked a few words and punctuation marks but overall it was well done. I enjoyed reading it. Keep it up! ~Teacher Jane c", 


The most interesting trial to me was the Juvenile trial that happened last year in the United States. 
>> CORRECT =) 

A victim and criminal were students who went to the same high school. 
>> CORRECT =) 

But one day, the victim was murdered with a gun. 
>> CORRECT =) 

The reason the criminal shot him was that the victim didn't give him money. 
>> CORRECT =) 

In a trial, even though the mother of the victim forgave the criminal, the criminal laughed at his mother. 
>> During the trial, even though the mother of the victim forgave the criminal, the criminal laughed at his mother. 

He already knew he won't be sentenced seriously because he is not an adult yet. 
>> CORRECT =) 

But the judge got to check this and sentenced him to life imprisonment even though he was a juvenile. 
>> CORRECT =)
OR >> But the judge got to correct this and sentenced him to life imprisonment even though he was a juvenile. 

I can't forget the criminal's facial expression. 
>> CORRECT =) 

He started to cry and prayed for forgiveness. 
>> CORRECT =) 

But it was too late, already. 
OR >> But it was already too late. 

He is still in prison. 
>> CORRECT =) 

I'm glad for a judge to sentence fairly. 
>> CORRECT =) 
OR >> I am glad for a judge who sentences fairly. 

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