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What are some things that make you happy?

작성자: 전*연
2022-07-14 595

회원님의 영작문

There are many things that make me happy in my life.
First of all, my pet who name is LEON.
When he first came to my house, he was an abandoned dog.
So, at first, he was really shy and didn’t eat or walk well.
However, our family keep care of him with warm heart, he became more energetic and outgoing dog.
So my dog is one of my happy things.
Second, my friends make me happy.
I really like meet and being with others.
So whenever I meet and communicate with my friends, I feel happy and have fun.
Finally, delicious foods make me happy.
I think most people also think about that, when people eat delicious foods or desserts, they relieve stress easily.
Especially in these days, my favorite food is chicken with beer.
The combination of chicken and beer is fantastic.
So, my dog, friends and delicious foods make me happy in my life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Thursday, Cindy! 

Thank you so much for doing your homework. We have a dog too. We treat her like a princess because she’s already part of our family. Tell me more about your dog next time!

 

-Kristine ^^


There are many things that make me happy in my life.

>> There are many things that make my life happy.
First of all, my pet who name is LEON.

>> First of all, my pet’s name is Leon.
When he first came to my house, he was an abandoned dog.

>> He was an abandoned dog when he first came to my house.
So, at first, he was really shy and didn’t eat or walk well.

>> At first, he was really shy and wasn’t eating or walking well.
However, our family keep care of him with warm heart,

>> However, my family loves him and takes good care of him.

he became more energetic and outgoing dog.

>> He became more energetic and an outing dog.

So my dog is one of my happy things.

>> My dog is one of the things that make me happy.
Second, my friends make me happy.

>> The second thing that makes me happy, are my friends.
I really like meet and being with others.

>> I really like meeting and hanging out with them.
So whenever I meet and communicate with my friends, I feel happy and have fun.

>> I feel great whenever I talk to my friends.
Finally, delicious foods make me happy.

>> Finally, delicious foods make me happy.
I think most people also think about that,

>> I think most people think that way too.

when people eat delicious foods or desserts, they relieve stress easily.

>> Eating delicious foods or desserts can reduce your stress.
Especially in these days, my favorite food is chicken with beer.

>> I like eating chicken while drinking beers these days.
The combination of chicken and beer is fantastic.

>> Correct.
So, my dog, friends and delicious foods make me happy in my life.

>> Therefore, my dog, my friends, and delicious foods make my life happy. 
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02
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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