무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Obesity like other diseases, impairs the normal functioning of the body? How?

작성자: 이*연
2022-07-14 507

회원님의 영작문

According to the medical journal, people with obesity are likely to have health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease. These facts are already well known online. However, almost every person can not feel this dangerousness because they have never experienced these diseases due to obesity.

I studied sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day to enroll in a university last year. My high school served three meals however, because of the tight school study schedule, it was hard to digest all of the foods that I ate. And it was connected to the lack of exercise and being overweight. At that time, I did not have any disease by overweight. However, I encountered trivial barriers during my daily life. First of all, I often experienced foot numbness and I felt easily tired even though I exercised for minutes. Given my experience and many medical journals, obesity can impair the normal functioning of the body.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Helena! 
I agree with you that obesity is related to our lifestyle. Having an active lifestyle can reduce the risk of being obese.
-T. Caitlyn
According to the medical journal, people with obesity are likely to have health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease. 
>> CORRECT
These facts are already well known online. 
>> CORRECT
However, almost every person can not feel this dangerousness because they have never experienced these diseases due to obesity.
>> CORRECT
I studied sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day to enroll in a university last year. 
>> I studied, sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day, to enroll in a university last year. 
My high school served three meals however, because of the tight school study schedule, it was hard to digest all of the foods that I ate. 
>> CORRECT
And it was connected to the lack of exercise and being overweight.
>> Adding lack of exercise, I became overweight.
 At that time, I did not have any disease by overweight. 
>> At that time, I did not have any disease caused by being overweight. 
However, I encountered trivial barriers during my daily life. 
>> CORRECT
First of all, I often experienced foot numbness and I felt easily tired even though I exercised for minutes. 
>> First, I often experienced foot numbness and get tired easily even though I exercised for just a few minutes. 
Given my experience and many medical journals, obesity can impair the normal functioning of the body.
>> CORRECT
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
123296 10.28.2022 김*정 완료 2022-10-31 2
123295 What do you think is the best costume for Halloween? 임*호 완료 2022-10-31 1
123294 What do you think of celebrities who get plastic surgery? 전*연 완료 2022-10-31 2
123293 Are cosmetics only for women? What do you think of cosmetics for... 전*연 완료 2022-10-31 2
123292 Do you ever cook for other people? Who do you cook for? 전*연 완료 2022-10-31 2
123291 Have you ever burnt something in the kitchen? 전*연 완료 2022-10-31 2
123290 10/24 homework 윤*현 완료 2022-10-30 3076
123289 Do you like taking vitamins or supplements? Answer in a few... 이*연 완료 2022-10-30 3727
123288 Are you a helpful person? 김*규 완료 2022-10-30 1
123287 Homework~~ 박*형 완료 2022-10-30 1
123286 Homework~~ 박*형 완료 2022-10-30 2488
123285 Travel 민*정 완료 2022-10-30 1
123284 What type of transportation do you prefer? 신*관 완료 2022-10-30 3
123283 In your opinion, why does the season change? 김*율 완료 2022-10-29 2144
123282 What do you think is the most dangerous sport? 김*국 완료 2022-10-29 2
123281 homework 김*우 완료 2022-10-29 1819
123280 Homework 이*경 완료 2022-10-29 1833
123279 Homework 이*경 완료 2022-10-29 2155
123278 What is your hometown famous for? Give examples like famous... 신*섭 완료 2022-10-29 1433
123277 Homework 이*경 완료 2022-10-29 1705

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]