¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Obesity like other diseases, impairs the normal functioning of the body? How?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-07-14 679

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

According to the medical journal, people with obesity are likely to have health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease. These facts are already well known online. However, almost every person can not feel this dangerousness because they have never experienced these diseases due to obesity.

I studied sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day to enroll in a university last year. My high school served three meals however, because of the tight school study schedule, it was hard to digest all of the foods that I ate. And it was connected to the lack of exercise and being overweight. At that time, I did not have any disease by overweight. However, I encountered trivial barriers during my daily life. First of all, I often experienced foot numbness and I felt easily tired even though I exercised for minutes. Given my experience and many medical journals, obesity can impair the normal functioning of the body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Helena! 
I agree with you that obesity is related to our lifestyle. Having an active lifestyle can reduce the risk of being obese.
-T. Caitlyn
According to the medical journal, people with obesity are likely to have health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease. 
>> CORRECT
These facts are already well known online. 
>> CORRECT
However, almost every person can not feel this dangerousness because they have never experienced these diseases due to obesity.
>> CORRECT
I studied sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day to enroll in a university last year. 
>> I studied, sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day, to enroll in a university last year. 
My high school served three meals however, because of the tight school study schedule, it was hard to digest all of the foods that I ate. 
>> CORRECT
And it was connected to the lack of exercise and being overweight.
>> Adding lack of exercise, I became overweight.
 At that time, I did not have any disease by overweight. 
>> At that time, I did not have any disease caused by being overweight. 
However, I encountered trivial barriers during my daily life. 
>> CORRECT
First of all, I often experienced foot numbness and I felt easily tired even though I exercised for minutes. 
>> First, I often experienced foot numbness and get tired easily even though I exercised for just a few minutes. 
Given my experience and many medical journals, obesity can impair the normal functioning of the body.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117333 Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 664
117332 Exciting experience ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 708
117331 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 408
117330 What fruits do you like to most? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 132
117329 What are the signs of aging that you feel at this point in your... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 3
117328 How many children do you want and why? Share your answer in a... ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 1
117327 What springs to mind when you hear the term ¡®junk food¡¯? - How... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 327
117326 What was the best help you have received? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 668
117325 If you were a dinosaur, which one would you be? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 191
117324 If you could change your name would you? What would it be? Why... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 176
117323 What kind of music ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 0
117322 How can you contribute? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 338
117321 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 1235
117320 Choose any of these sentences to complete with correct... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 173
117319 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 6
117318 What kind of medicine would you like to be discovered/invented? ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 480
117317 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 0
117316 Ice cream ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 693
117315 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 2
117314 Do you believe in aliens? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 340

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04