¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Obesity like other diseases, impairs the normal functioning of the body? How?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-07-14 301

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

According to the medical journal, people with obesity are likely to have health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease. These facts are already well known online. However, almost every person can not feel this dangerousness because they have never experienced these diseases due to obesity.

I studied sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day to enroll in a university last year. My high school served three meals however, because of the tight school study schedule, it was hard to digest all of the foods that I ate. And it was connected to the lack of exercise and being overweight. At that time, I did not have any disease by overweight. However, I encountered trivial barriers during my daily life. First of all, I often experienced foot numbness and I felt easily tired even though I exercised for minutes. Given my experience and many medical journals, obesity can impair the normal functioning of the body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Helena! 
I agree with you that obesity is related to our lifestyle. Having an active lifestyle can reduce the risk of being obese.
-T. Caitlyn
According to the medical journal, people with obesity are likely to have health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease. 
>> CORRECT
These facts are already well known online. 
>> CORRECT
However, almost every person can not feel this dangerousness because they have never experienced these diseases due to obesity.
>> CORRECT
I studied sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day to enroll in a university last year. 
>> I studied, sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day, to enroll in a university last year. 
My high school served three meals however, because of the tight school study schedule, it was hard to digest all of the foods that I ate. 
>> CORRECT
And it was connected to the lack of exercise and being overweight.
>> Adding lack of exercise, I became overweight.
 At that time, I did not have any disease by overweight. 
>> At that time, I did not have any disease caused by being overweight. 
However, I encountered trivial barriers during my daily life. 
>> CORRECT
First of all, I often experienced foot numbness and I felt easily tired even though I exercised for minutes. 
>> First, I often experienced foot numbness and get tired easily even though I exercised for just a few minutes. 
Given my experience and many medical journals, obesity can impair the normal functioning of the body.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120821 07.15.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 1
120820 What do you think is the most dangerous animal? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 417
120819 What facts my school have. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 321
120818 Why I don\'t want to try raising animals. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 528
120817 What I like of my favorite subject ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 474
120816 Did you interview people before? How was the experience? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 3
120815 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 596
120814 How can travelling be an educational experience? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 2
120813 Why do you think many people love to travel? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 2
120812 Previous class review À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 318
120811 homework Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 570
120810 previous class review (1st Interveiw story) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 2
120809 What is the meaning of Selling like pancakes? ½Å*¼· ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-16 347
120808 Why do you think people learn different languages? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 2
120807 My favorite subject. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 335
120806 Meaning of being healthy. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 227
120805 How to get avoid of sick ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 407
120804 The most enjoyable part ot studying. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 330
120803 7/15 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 335
120802 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 305

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04