¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-07-13 423

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it\'s bad for them. Why? What are the most effective ways to improve people\'s eating habits?

Unhealthy food is usually good taste to seduce people.
When you start to eat the unhealthy and yummy food, you cannot stop eating it.
It's like a strong addiction.
The way that you stop eating unhealthy food, you might have not eaten the unhealthy food from the begginning.
To have good eating habits,
First of all, fill the refrigerator with divese vegetables and healthy foods.
And go to home right away after work, and cook healthy dishes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Ms. Eunice! I agree! Unhealthy is yummy! hahaha But we have to take in moderation. Too much is bad. Hahaha!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Unhealthy food is usually good taste to seduce people.
>>> Unhealthy food usually have a good taste and could seduce people.
When you start to eat the unhealthy and yummy food, you cannot stop eating it.
>>> When you start to eat unhealthy and yummy food, you cannot stop eating it.
It's like a strong addiction.
>>> CORRECT
The way that you stop eating unhealthy food, you might have not eaten the unhealthy food from the beginning.
>>> The only way to stop eating unhealthy food, is not eating it in the first place. 
To have good eating habits,

First of all, fill the refrigerator with divese vegetables and healthy foods.
>>> To have good eating habits, first of all, fill the refrigerator with diverse vegetables and healthy foods.
And go to home right away after work, and cook healthy dishes.
>>> Then, go home straight after work, and cook healthy dishes.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118423 What do you think should we do before job interviews? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 101
118422 Howework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 86
118421 202.4.21 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 113
118420 What sports can you play? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 158
118419 What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 0
118418 What do you think should we do before job interviews? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 114
118417 Are you good at memorizing? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 145
118416 What is your idea of the best travel experience? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 124
118415 4/21 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 87
118414 Handwriting and personality. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 91
118413 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 1
118412 I like BTS ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 4
118411 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 1
118410 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 118
118409 Did you or do you like the PE lessons? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 123
118408 What song would you like to dedicate to your parents and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 0
118407 home work ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 99
118406 home work ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 105
118405 home work ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 118
118404 What video game do you think is best and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04