¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-07-13 414

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it\'s bad for them. Why? What are the most effective ways to improve people\'s eating habits?

Unhealthy food is usually good taste to seduce people.
When you start to eat the unhealthy and yummy food, you cannot stop eating it.
It's like a strong addiction.
The way that you stop eating unhealthy food, you might have not eaten the unhealthy food from the begginning.
To have good eating habits,
First of all, fill the refrigerator with divese vegetables and healthy foods.
And go to home right away after work, and cook healthy dishes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Ms. Eunice! I agree! Unhealthy is yummy! hahaha But we have to take in moderation. Too much is bad. Hahaha!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Unhealthy food is usually good taste to seduce people.
>>> Unhealthy food usually have a good taste and could seduce people.
When you start to eat the unhealthy and yummy food, you cannot stop eating it.
>>> When you start to eat unhealthy and yummy food, you cannot stop eating it.
It's like a strong addiction.
>>> CORRECT
The way that you stop eating unhealthy food, you might have not eaten the unhealthy food from the beginning.
>>> The only way to stop eating unhealthy food, is not eating it in the first place. 
To have good eating habits,

First of all, fill the refrigerator with divese vegetables and healthy foods.
>>> To have good eating habits, first of all, fill the refrigerator with diverse vegetables and healthy foods.
And go to home right away after work, and cook healthy dishes.
>>> Then, go home straight after work, and cook healthy dishes.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118586 How to overcome stress ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 66
118585 universities ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 104
118584 modern people busy À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 98
118583 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 129
118582 What is your best experience in life? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 144
118581 202.4.27 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 74
118580 Why do you think people started living in cities? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 1
118579 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 83
118578 What is the best memory you have of your family doing something... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 124
118577 International sporting events are costly and bring problems to... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0
118576 Which one do you think is better, electronic books or... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 83
118575 Writing Task(Apr 27th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 109
118574 Writing Task(Apr 26th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 87
118573 Clothes I want to buy. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 74
118572 What is the difference in the sound (tone) of the Korean... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 2
118571 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 90
118570 4/27 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 80
118569 What school policy have you violated in high school? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 151
118568 What\'s the best way to protect yourself from getting infected... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 114
118567 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04