¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-07-13 270

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it\'s bad for them. Why? What are the most effective ways to improve people\'s eating habits?

Unhealthy food is usually good taste to seduce people.
When you start to eat the unhealthy and yummy food, you cannot stop eating it.
It's like a strong addiction.
The way that you stop eating unhealthy food, you might have not eaten the unhealthy food from the begginning.
To have good eating habits,
First of all, fill the refrigerator with divese vegetables and healthy foods.
And go to home right away after work, and cook healthy dishes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Ms. Eunice! I agree! Unhealthy is yummy! hahaha But we have to take in moderation. Too much is bad. Hahaha!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Unhealthy food is usually good taste to seduce people.
>>> Unhealthy food usually have a good taste and could seduce people.
When you start to eat the unhealthy and yummy food, you cannot stop eating it.
>>> When you start to eat unhealthy and yummy food, you cannot stop eating it.
It's like a strong addiction.
>>> CORRECT
The way that you stop eating unhealthy food, you might have not eaten the unhealthy food from the beginning.
>>> The only way to stop eating unhealthy food, is not eating it in the first place. 
To have good eating habits,

First of all, fill the refrigerator with divese vegetables and healthy foods.
>>> To have good eating habits, first of all, fill the refrigerator with diverse vegetables and healthy foods.
And go to home right away after work, and cook healthy dishes.
>>> Then, go home straight after work, and cook healthy dishes.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120394 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 2
120393 Does your personality change when you¡¯re gaming? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 389
120392 What are the things that you would/would never do for a friend? ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 2
120391 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 2
120390 What do you spend most with your money? / Where is your favorite... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 1
120389 Why do rich people become richer and poor people become poorer? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 1
120388 What are the things you need when you go on a trip? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-03 486
120387 What do you like to watch on TV? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-03 418
120386 Did you feel more handsome when you wore make-up? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-03 3
120385 What is your favorite Korean tradition? Share your answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-03 694
120384 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-03 2
120383 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-03 1
120382 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-03 1
120381 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-03 545
120380 What is one mistake you\'ve done that you don\'t want to happen... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-02 438
120379 What presents when I give in parents day to parents. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-02 528
120378 What I put on my hand ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-02 302
120377 What can I do in amusement park. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-02 290
120376 Why do you think research and development are important? How can... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-02 655
120375 homework and advice ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-02 504

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04