¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-07-13 1107

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good afternoon, Donna!
It's raining cats and dogs.
I told you that my colleague and I are going to somewhere for meeting someone this evening.
Thus, I am worried about going there by a car.
Maybe we can take a taxi instead of my car.
Anyway, there are not much patients because of this bad weather.
So, I enjoy my free time now.
Today's homework is about the skin aging.
In short, the baby's skin is the best.
However, as we are getting older, many changes can be revealed.
Because skin function of water retaining is reducing, most of aged skins are dry.
And there are wrinkles, sagging, spots such as melasma, lentigo, etc. in old people's skin.
For improving their skin condition, we have lot of treatment modalities in the clinic.
First, Injection or application of some skin boosters, filler, botox.
There are plenty of skin boosters composed of HA, PLLA, PN, and so on.
Second, we can use some devices such as laser, US, RF, iontoporesis, etc.
Third, there are surgeries about sagging.
Thanks!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

By now, you should have been having a good time with your co-doctors. Did you take taxi after all? I hope that all of you will have a blast! When it's a bad weather, good company of friends is so comforting...

In terms of your homework, I agree that a baby's skin is the finest. I've learned a lot from your discussion of how the skin loses its moisture as time goes by. Even the skin has a maximum capacity to hold water after all. You are truly an expert in your field, no doubt. 

Now for your exposition and on the grammatical and meaning of your answer. I must say that your sentences are accurate and very clear. Just take note of the use 'and' which needs to be at the middle of a sentences rather than the beginning; the use of 'to' needs a specific place after such as 'to school; to work; to sing' thus, we need to drop it on your third sentence.

Carry on with the excellent writing.

See you tomorrow on a different time, enjoy your gathering with your friends!

-T. Donna~

Good afternoon, Donna!
>> Correct!

It's raining cats and dogs.
>> Correct!

I told you that my colleague and I are going to somewhere for meeting someone this evening.
>> I told you that my colleague and I are going somewhere to meet someone this evening.

Thus, I am worried about going there by a car.
>> Correct!

Maybe we can take a taxi instead of my car.
>> Correct!

Anyway, there are not much patients because of this bad weather.
>> Correct!

So, I enjoy my free time now.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about the skin aging.
>> Correct!

In short, the baby's skin is the best.
>> Correct!

However, as we are getting older, many changes can be revealed.
>> Correct!

Because skin function of water retaining is reducing, most of aged skins are dry.
>> Because the skin's function of retaining water is reduced, most of aged skins are dry.

And there are wrinkles, sagging, spots such as melasma, lentigo, etc. in old people's skin.
>> And, there are wrinkles, sagging spots such as melasma, lentigo, etc. in old people's skin.

For improving their skin condition, we have lot of treatment modalities in the clinic.
>> Correct!
Or: To improve their skin condition, we have lot of treatment modalities in the clinic.

First, Injection or application of some skin boosters, filler, botox.
>> First, there is the injection or application of some skin boosters, filler, or botox.

There are plenty of skin boosters composed of HA, PLLA, PN, and so on.
>> Correct!
 
Second, we can use some devices such as laser, US, RF, iontoporesis, etc.
>> Correct!

Third, there are surgeries about sagging.
>> Correct!

Thanks!
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125043 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 3
125042 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 0
125041 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 2723
125040 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 620
125039 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 743
125038 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-23 572
125037 Who is your favorite past government official? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0
125036 Why do you think it¡¯s important to vote? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0
125035 How do you think other people see you when you make a mistake? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0
125034 How important is it to smile when you meet someone for the first... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-22 0
125033 Did you like the experience of speaking with your Indian... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-21 1
125032 What makes you happy? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-21 627
125031 If someone talk about me. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-21 765
125030 I think people who collect insects or have them as pets are¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-21 655
125029 mt favorite genre ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-21 666
125028 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-21 576
125027 Homework from the Feedback (2) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-20 994
125026 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-20 568
125025 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-20 746
125024 How important are student evaluations on teachers? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-20 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04