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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-07-13 1035

회원님의 영작문

Good afternoon, Donna!
It's raining cats and dogs.
I told you that my colleague and I are going to somewhere for meeting someone this evening.
Thus, I am worried about going there by a car.
Maybe we can take a taxi instead of my car.
Anyway, there are not much patients because of this bad weather.
So, I enjoy my free time now.
Today's homework is about the skin aging.
In short, the baby's skin is the best.
However, as we are getting older, many changes can be revealed.
Because skin function of water retaining is reducing, most of aged skins are dry.
And there are wrinkles, sagging, spots such as melasma, lentigo, etc. in old people's skin.
For improving their skin condition, we have lot of treatment modalities in the clinic.
First, Injection or application of some skin boosters, filler, botox.
There are plenty of skin boosters composed of HA, PLLA, PN, and so on.
Second, we can use some devices such as laser, US, RF, iontoporesis, etc.
Third, there are surgeries about sagging.
Thanks!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

By now, you should have been having a good time with your co-doctors. Did you take taxi after all? I hope that all of you will have a blast! When it's a bad weather, good company of friends is so comforting...

In terms of your homework, I agree that a baby's skin is the finest. I've learned a lot from your discussion of how the skin loses its moisture as time goes by. Even the skin has a maximum capacity to hold water after all. You are truly an expert in your field, no doubt. 

Now for your exposition and on the grammatical and meaning of your answer. I must say that your sentences are accurate and very clear. Just take note of the use 'and' which needs to be at the middle of a sentences rather than the beginning; the use of 'to' needs a specific place after such as 'to school; to work; to sing' thus, we need to drop it on your third sentence.

Carry on with the excellent writing.

See you tomorrow on a different time, enjoy your gathering with your friends!

-T. Donna~

Good afternoon, Donna!
>> Correct!

It's raining cats and dogs.
>> Correct!

I told you that my colleague and I are going to somewhere for meeting someone this evening.
>> I told you that my colleague and I are going somewhere to meet someone this evening.

Thus, I am worried about going there by a car.
>> Correct!

Maybe we can take a taxi instead of my car.
>> Correct!

Anyway, there are not much patients because of this bad weather.
>> Correct!

So, I enjoy my free time now.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about the skin aging.
>> Correct!

In short, the baby's skin is the best.
>> Correct!

However, as we are getting older, many changes can be revealed.
>> Correct!

Because skin function of water retaining is reducing, most of aged skins are dry.
>> Because the skin's function of retaining water is reduced, most of aged skins are dry.

And there are wrinkles, sagging, spots such as melasma, lentigo, etc. in old people's skin.
>> And, there are wrinkles, sagging spots such as melasma, lentigo, etc. in old people's skin.

For improving their skin condition, we have lot of treatment modalities in the clinic.
>> Correct!
Or: To improve their skin condition, we have lot of treatment modalities in the clinic.

First, Injection or application of some skin boosters, filler, botox.
>> First, there is the injection or application of some skin boosters, filler, or botox.

There are plenty of skin boosters composed of HA, PLLA, PN, and so on.
>> Correct!
 
Second, we can use some devices such as laser, US, RF, iontoporesis, etc.
>> Correct!

Third, there are surgeries about sagging.
>> Correct!

Thanks!
>> Correct!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
118356 Borrow 민*정 완료 2022-04-20 1
118355 Homework 김*혁 완료 2022-04-20 63
118354 What is your favorite book and why? What lessons can you learn... 여*진 완료 2022-04-20 0
118353 What is your favorite book and why? What lessons can you learn... 류*주 완료 2022-04-20 102
118352 Wednesday Homework 류*우 완료 2022-04-20 87
118351 Job 최*우 완료 2022-04-20 98
118350 Why do you think people worry about aging? 황*하 완료 2022-04-20 120
118349 What song would you like to sing for your parents and why? 금*진 완료 2022-04-20 164
118348 raise kids 권*희 완료 2022-04-20 184
118347 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-04-20 1
118346 First assignment 윤*영 완료 2022-04-20 123
118345 my answer 이*미 완료 2022-04-20 115
118344 Are online dating sites just a scam, or can they form lasting... 주*석 완료 2022-04-20 1
118343 Self Introduction 양*은 완료 2022-04-20 135
118342 Homework 정*혁 완료 2022-04-20 121
118341 Which part of your childhood do you wish you could change? 김*현 완료 2022-04-20 171
118340 What is your favorite book and why? What lessons can you learn... 신*섭 완료 2022-04-20 126
118339 The influence of books. 김*윤 완료 2022-04-19 97
118338 homework 김*태 완료 2022-04-19 102
118337 What positive effect has stress on you? 김*규 완료 2022-04-19 0

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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