¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-07-13 896

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good afternoon, Donna!
It's raining cats and dogs.
I told you that my colleague and I are going to somewhere for meeting someone this evening.
Thus, I am worried about going there by a car.
Maybe we can take a taxi instead of my car.
Anyway, there are not much patients because of this bad weather.
So, I enjoy my free time now.
Today's homework is about the skin aging.
In short, the baby's skin is the best.
However, as we are getting older, many changes can be revealed.
Because skin function of water retaining is reducing, most of aged skins are dry.
And there are wrinkles, sagging, spots such as melasma, lentigo, etc. in old people's skin.
For improving their skin condition, we have lot of treatment modalities in the clinic.
First, Injection or application of some skin boosters, filler, botox.
There are plenty of skin boosters composed of HA, PLLA, PN, and so on.
Second, we can use some devices such as laser, US, RF, iontoporesis, etc.
Third, there are surgeries about sagging.
Thanks!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

By now, you should have been having a good time with your co-doctors. Did you take taxi after all? I hope that all of you will have a blast! When it's a bad weather, good company of friends is so comforting...

In terms of your homework, I agree that a baby's skin is the finest. I've learned a lot from your discussion of how the skin loses its moisture as time goes by. Even the skin has a maximum capacity to hold water after all. You are truly an expert in your field, no doubt. 

Now for your exposition and on the grammatical and meaning of your answer. I must say that your sentences are accurate and very clear. Just take note of the use 'and' which needs to be at the middle of a sentences rather than the beginning; the use of 'to' needs a specific place after such as 'to school; to work; to sing' thus, we need to drop it on your third sentence.

Carry on with the excellent writing.

See you tomorrow on a different time, enjoy your gathering with your friends!

-T. Donna~

Good afternoon, Donna!
>> Correct!

It's raining cats and dogs.
>> Correct!

I told you that my colleague and I are going to somewhere for meeting someone this evening.
>> I told you that my colleague and I are going somewhere to meet someone this evening.

Thus, I am worried about going there by a car.
>> Correct!

Maybe we can take a taxi instead of my car.
>> Correct!

Anyway, there are not much patients because of this bad weather.
>> Correct!

So, I enjoy my free time now.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about the skin aging.
>> Correct!

In short, the baby's skin is the best.
>> Correct!

However, as we are getting older, many changes can be revealed.
>> Correct!

Because skin function of water retaining is reducing, most of aged skins are dry.
>> Because the skin's function of retaining water is reduced, most of aged skins are dry.

And there are wrinkles, sagging, spots such as melasma, lentigo, etc. in old people's skin.
>> And, there are wrinkles, sagging spots such as melasma, lentigo, etc. in old people's skin.

For improving their skin condition, we have lot of treatment modalities in the clinic.
>> Correct!
Or: To improve their skin condition, we have lot of treatment modalities in the clinic.

First, Injection or application of some skin boosters, filler, botox.
>> First, there is the injection or application of some skin boosters, filler, or botox.

There are plenty of skin boosters composed of HA, PLLA, PN, and so on.
>> Correct!
 
Second, we can use some devices such as laser, US, RF, iontoporesis, etc.
>> Correct!

Third, there are surgeries about sagging.
>> Correct!

Thanks!
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122228 Are you influenced by what you see on TV? Or by what you read?... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1931
122227 Does your community have outdoor exercise equipment? Is it free... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1884
122226 Imagine you waited for 30 minutes already, but the food you... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 6
122225 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1971
122224 Can people change their personalities? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2
122223 Regret. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 3
122222 How do you understand this expression: \"Mother knows best\"... ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2
122221 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122220 Do you wish to study there in Australia? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122219 What sport do you think is the most fun to do? Le* ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1270
122218 Is sport an important part of education? What does it teach... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2
122217 Does the place you live have a low-stress environment? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122216 Would you rather go into the past or the future to meet someone... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1084
122215 What can we do to avoid depression? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1045
122214 09.06.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 3
122213 9/6 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1679
122212 9/6 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2173
122211 Mars ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1773
122210 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1465
122209 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1831

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04