¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

s it better for kids to have siblings?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ä*¼®
2022-07-12 341

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is good to have many brothers and sisters.
First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, help each other, grow and form character.

Like I said, I have one son and one daughter.
When they were young,my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. As a result, the daughter had a sense of inferiority.

After that, my daughter plays golf, and she still doesn't like her feelings for her brother, even though she has much more support financially.

Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because the son knows that feeling. Lately, as they get older, they seem to be taking care of each other, but it\'s sad to think that it\'s all their parents\' fault.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Charley!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think it is good to have many brothers and sisters.

>> CORRECT!
First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, help each other, grow and form character.
>> First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, we can help each other grow and form our character.
Like I said, I have one son and one daughter.

>> CORRECT!
When they were young,my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. 
>> When they were young, my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. 

As a result, the daughter had a sense of inferiority.

>> As a result, my daughter had a sense of inferiority.
After that, my daughter plays golf, and she still doesn't like her feelings for her brother, even though she has much more support financially.
>> My daughter currently plays golf but she still doesn't like her feelings towards her brother, even though she has much more support financially.
Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because the son knows that feeling. 

>> Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because my son knows about my daughter's feelings.

Lately, as they get older, they seem to be taking care of each other, but it\'s sad to think that it\'s all their parents\' fault.

>>  As they are growing older, they seem to be taking care of each other more, but it's sad to think that it's all their parents' fault.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119138 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 61
119137 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 81
119136 Writing Task(May 17th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 92
119135 5/18 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 86
119134 What motivates you in wanting to make books? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 86
119133 My study skills. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 131
119132 How could art be appreciated and enjoyed by more people? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 110
119131 I prefer to eat at home ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 12
119130 homework (16th May) ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 92
119129 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 103
119128 How do you like to celebrate your birthday this year? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 124
119127 Do you think gardening is good for your health? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 127
119126 What are the disadvantages of technology? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 105
119125 What is the most dangerous thing you¡¯ve done? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 1
119124 About the study. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 88
119123 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 2
119122 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 0
119121 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 1
119120 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 0
119119 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 72

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04