¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

s it better for kids to have siblings?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ä*¼®
2022-07-12 303

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is good to have many brothers and sisters.
First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, help each other, grow and form character.

Like I said, I have one son and one daughter.
When they were young,my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. As a result, the daughter had a sense of inferiority.

After that, my daughter plays golf, and she still doesn't like her feelings for her brother, even though she has much more support financially.

Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because the son knows that feeling. Lately, as they get older, they seem to be taking care of each other, but it\'s sad to think that it\'s all their parents\' fault.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Charley!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think it is good to have many brothers and sisters.

>> CORRECT!
First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, help each other, grow and form character.
>> First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, we can help each other grow and form our character.
Like I said, I have one son and one daughter.

>> CORRECT!
When they were young,my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. 
>> When they were young, my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. 

As a result, the daughter had a sense of inferiority.

>> As a result, my daughter had a sense of inferiority.
After that, my daughter plays golf, and she still doesn't like her feelings for her brother, even though she has much more support financially.
>> My daughter currently plays golf but she still doesn't like her feelings towards her brother, even though she has much more support financially.
Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because the son knows that feeling. 

>> Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because my son knows about my daughter's feelings.

Lately, as they get older, they seem to be taking care of each other, but it\'s sad to think that it\'s all their parents\' fault.

>>  As they are growing older, they seem to be taking care of each other more, but it's sad to think that it's all their parents' fault.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119840 [Homework] Q. Would you like to go on a shopping holiday? Why or... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119839 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 96
119838 About losing our four distinct seasons ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 2
119837 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 124
119836 Soeun\'s Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 148
119835 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119834 Where is it? ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 2
119833 The reason why I like the movie sixsense ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 378
119832 What banking services do you like most?/ What do you think of... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119831 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 132
119830 Is it rude to tell the person that they need to improve their... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119829 It men feel more emotional, do you think that the world will be... ÇÑ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 333
119828 ¡°You can choose your friends, but not your family,¡± What can... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119827 6.13 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 303
119826 topic 2 ½É*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 10
119825 What kind of new people do you want to meet? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 3
119824 self introduction ½É*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 41
119823 What is your dream house and where do you want it to be? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 165
119822 What is the best thing about your birthplace? / How is our... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 2
119821 He prayed for a lively life, and he actually lived a lively life ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 2612

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04