¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

s it better for kids to have siblings?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ä*¼®
2022-07-12 235

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is good to have many brothers and sisters.
First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, help each other, grow and form character.

Like I said, I have one son and one daughter.
When they were young,my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. As a result, the daughter had a sense of inferiority.

After that, my daughter plays golf, and she still doesn't like her feelings for her brother, even though she has much more support financially.

Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because the son knows that feeling. Lately, as they get older, they seem to be taking care of each other, but it\'s sad to think that it\'s all their parents\' fault.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Charley!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think it is good to have many brothers and sisters.

>> CORRECT!
First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, help each other, grow and form character.
>> First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, we can help each other grow and form our character.
Like I said, I have one son and one daughter.

>> CORRECT!
When they were young,my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. 
>> When they were young, my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. 

As a result, the daughter had a sense of inferiority.

>> As a result, my daughter had a sense of inferiority.
After that, my daughter plays golf, and she still doesn't like her feelings for her brother, even though she has much more support financially.
>> My daughter currently plays golf but she still doesn't like her feelings towards her brother, even though she has much more support financially.
Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because the son knows that feeling. 

>> Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because my son knows about my daughter's feelings.

Lately, as they get older, they seem to be taking care of each other, but it\'s sad to think that it\'s all their parents\' fault.

>>  As they are growing older, they seem to be taking care of each other more, but it's sad to think that it's all their parents' fault.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120541 Old country Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 1
120540 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 227
120539 Do you agree that low-ranking officers shouldn¡¯t oppose... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 0
120538 What is one thing you have never done but would like to do? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 383
120537 Should companies that break workplace anti-bullying laws be... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 369
120536 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 3
120535 5. homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 1
120534 If you can renovate something in your house, what would it be... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 372
120533 What are the benefits of being physically attractive? ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 2
120532 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 366
120531 closest neighbor ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 490
120530 my room ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 300
120529 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 498
120528 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 1
120527 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 682
120526 My hometown ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 1
120525 Class review. (I really thank you about your teaching!) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 1
120524 writing homework and practice Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 6
120523 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 276
120522 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04