¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

SUMMER

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*¿ø
2022-07-12 1226

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We really need air conditioner to survive during the summer. Because It's not only hot also soggy in Korea. We can't survive to just get a fan. Usually, we think that it's better to turn on the AC strongly even though It's freezing than endure high temperature. Because, we just have to put on some outer. So, we almost have the AC and fan at every single home and company.
And, we go to Water park, Beach, or Vallry. I went to the cafe last weekend, and turned out It's near the valley. So, I could see around sightseeing and the people playing and swimming in the valley. Honestly, I just work and go back home and do same things everyday, so, I can't feel the summer vibe. But, I felt the summer vibe at this day. after that, I wanted to go out somewhere and I'm going to make a plan to summer holiday. I can't wait to enjoy my holiday!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hui Won. Here's my correction to your essay. Thank you for your thoughts about the issue. ^_^
T. Irene
We really need air conditioner to survive during the summer. Because It's not only hot also soggy in Korea. 
>>> We really need air conditioners to survive the summer heat in Korea. It's also humid. 
We can't survive to just get a fan. 
>>> We can't survive by just using a fan. 
Usually, we think that it's better to turn on the AC strongly even though It's freezing than endure high temperature. Because, we just have to put on some outer. 
>>> Usually, we think that it's better to turn on the AC at a freezing temperature than endure a high temperature because we just have to put on warm clothes. 
So, we almost have the AC and fan at every single home and company.
>>> So, most homes and company buildings have both AC and fans. 
And, we go to Water park, Beach, or Vallry. 
>>> We also go to water parks, beaches and valleys. 
I went to the cafe last weekend, and turned out It's near the valley. 
>>> I went to a cafe last weekend and turned out to be near the valley. 
So, I could see around sightseeing and the people playing and swimming in the valley. 
>>> So I see people sigthseeing and swimming in the valley. 
Honestly, I just work and go back home and do same things everyday, so, I can't feel the summer vibe. 
>>> Honestly, I just work and go back home, doing the same things every day, so, I can't feel the summer vibe. 
But, I felt the summer vibe at this day. after that, I wanted to go out somewhere and I'm going to make a plan to summer holiday. 
>>> But, I felt the summer vibe today. I wanted to go out somewhere and I'm going to make a plan for the summer holiday. 
I can't wait to enjoy my holiday!
>>> Correct. 



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120302 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 7
120301 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 0
120300 Korea is best country in the world ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 429
120299 What do you think is the most difficult job? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 360
120298 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 361
120297 Do you like women wearing make-up or no make-up? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 2
120296 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 472
120295 What do you think is the best country in the world and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 0
120294 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 3
120293 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 371
120292 What is easy .... ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 208
120291 Why do so many people live below the poverty line? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 487
120290 my purpose ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 494
120289 What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 579
120288 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 166
120287 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 402
120286 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 694
120285 What are the pros and cons of having a few close friends? ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 2
120284 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 0
120283 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04