¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could choose another country to live in, where would it be and why? Answer in a few sentences

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-07-11 818

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Living in Seoul is one of my dreams because I do cafe tour and shopping often, and there are plenty of trendy cafes and shops that attracts me in this city.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Judy!

It seems like there is no better country than yours because of Seoul City. Since you have been to other countries before, you can see how different South Korea is from them. Thus, enjoy your favorite places in Seoul, your enchanting city!

Thank you for this homework answer! I underlined the grammar suggestion I made. Moreover, I added 'too' at the second sentence suggestion. It's a long sentence with good construction and meaning. 

See you!

-T. Donna =)

Living in Seoul is one of my dreams because I do cafe tour and shopping often, and there are plenty of trendy cafes and shops that attracts me in this city.
>> Living in Seoul is one of my dreams because I do cafe tour and shopping often, and there are plenty of trendy cafes and shops that attract me in this city.
Or: Living in Seoul is one of my dreams because I do cafe tours and shopping often, and there are plenty of trendy cafes and shops that attract me in this city too.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123606 Which game are you best at? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 0
123605 These days, there more and more younger people committing crimes... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1
123604 What is your favorite technology? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1
123603 Tests and exams are nessecary. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 2071
123602 What things make a great movie a great movie? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1541
123601 What do you think will happen if your country falls into a... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1261
123600 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1522
123599 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 0
123598 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 0
123597 When you work, what kind of leave do you think would you be able... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1769
123596 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 2
123595 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1334
123594 Is there a limit to how often we can feel good? In other words,... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1442
123593 What was the best food you ate during your vacation? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1386
123592 What activities do you enjoy doing on your free time? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1466
123591 How can I tell if the other person is enjoying the date or wants... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1761
123590 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 0
123589 Phone number ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 2
123588 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1754
123587 My birthplace ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04