¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-07-08 749

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I agree with that the fast food industry had negative effects.
but I will not calim for it, because I am sure that the fast food industry have also positive effects such like belows.
1. We don't have to spend our time to cook. specially in this hot summer.
2. There are many diverse food which we can choose.
3. Fast food is proper cost compare to having a meal at a restaurant.
4. Fast food is not concerned about TOP.

With my essay, I look like a fast food person.
But I am not. ^^

Have a wonderful weekend Gemma!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Friday Ms. Eunice! Friday is my most awaited day of the week! Hahaha! However, time flies so fast on weekends that before I knew it, it's already Monday. huhuhu Anyway, thank you for the helpful information and active discussion this week! Refresh and relax yourself on the weekend! I promise, I won't disturb you. hahaha See you Monday!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree with that the fast food industry had negative effects.
>> I agree with the claim that the fast food industry had negative effects.
but I will not calim for it, because I am sure that the fast food industry have also positive effects such like belows.
>>> But I will not claim it, because I am sure that the fast food industry also has positive effects such like as follows:
1. We don't have to spend our time to cook. specially in this hot summer.
>>> CORRECT
OR>>> 1. We don't have to spend our time to cook. specially in this hot summer season.
2. There are many diverse food which we can choose.
>>> There are diverse food which we can choose.
>>> There are many food which we can choose.
3. Fast food is proper cost compare to having a meal at a restaurant.
>>> 3. Fast food is more affordable compared to having a meal at a restaurant.
4. Fast food is not concerned about TOP.
>>> CORRECT
With my essay, I look like a fast food person.
>>> With my essay, I seem to be a person who's into fast food.
But I am not. ^^
>>> CORRECT

Have a wonderful weekend Gemma! ( YOU TOO) 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123505 sorry ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 2
123504 Some parents want their children to have the best of everything.... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 2113
123503 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1
123502 crime ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1761
123501 Why stalking and dating violence have steadily increased ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1607
123500 I talk about a topic that the other person is interested in ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 1999
123499 11.09.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 3
123498 How do you intend to use your knowledge and learning at school? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 2024
123497 Which foods taste bad to you? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 2
123496 Sorry to be absent today ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 2034
123495 What is your biggest accomplishment this year? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-10 5
123494 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 2071
123493 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1713
123492 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 2
123491 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 2311
123490 If you are at home and alone, are you more likely to think there... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1390
123489 Who is the most controversial personality in your country? Why? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1437
123488 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1713
123487 Role model ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1
123486 Does violence on television make young people more violent? What... È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-09 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04