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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-07-08 767

회원님의 영작문

Good afternoon, Donna!
In this morning, I was so happy to talk about increase of my foreign clients.
And I felt so sad to talk about Sewol-ho and Kobe's helicopter accident.
Now I am working.
What a surprise!
I saw a patient who came from Iran just before.
He had skin problems in forearm and thigh.
I told him about his disease precisely with confidence.
Thus I feel very good.
Meanwhile I think today's homework is the role of government for transportation system.
As you know that most of transports in Korea are excellent, so I am almost satisfied with those.
However, if it's possible, I want my government to improve the safety of those more and more.
I think anyone who break the law and the standard for safety should be punished strongly.
In fact, there are so many car accident for drunken drivers in Korea.
We always get mad to hear such an accident.
So, the government have to strengthen the law for drunken driving.
Furthermore they should check the function of transport frequently.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi! Good afternoon too, Dr. Kim!

I told you, more foreign clients will come and visit you! I think they are recommending you because some poeple around you are aware of your English skills. But more importantly, your medical expertise is top class. Now, you have no choice but to speak English really confidently and very clearly so that you can help more patients in the local and international level.

And for your homework, every transporation system has its own dangers and advantages. Sometimes, the most dangerous about a transportation is the driver or the human error. Hence, I agree with your thoughts regarding drunk driving. These tight rules greatly affect our safety and we can protect others as well by being aware of the rules. 

Your writing style is very unique. You've done an excelptional job, keep it up!

Catch you next week.

-T. Donna~

Good afternoon, Donna!
>> Correct!

In this morning, I was so happy to talk about increase of my foreign clients.
>> This morning, I was so happy to talk about the increase of my foreign clients.

And I felt so sad to talk about Sewol-ho and Kobe's helicopter accident.
>> And, I felt so sad to talk about Sewol-ho and Kobe's helicopter accident.
Or: However, I felt so sad to talk about Sewol-ho and Kobe's helicopter accident.

Now I am working.
>> Correct!

What a surprise!
>> Correct!

I saw a patient who came from Iran just before.
>> Correct!

He had skin problems in forearm and thigh.
>> He had skin problems in his forearm and thigh.

I told him about his disease precisely with confidence.
>> Correct!

Thus I feel very good.
>> Correct!
Or: Thus, I feel very good.

Meanwhile I think today's homework is the role of government for transportation system.
>> Correct!
Or: Meanwhile, I think today's homework is the role of government for transportation system.

As you know that most of transports in Korea are excellent, so I am almost satisfied with those.
>> As you know it,  most of transports in Korea are excellent, so I am almost satisfied with those.

However, if it's possible, I want my government to improve the safety of those more and more.
>> Correct!

I think anyone who break the law and the standard for safety should be punished strongly.
>> I think anyone who breaks the law and the standard for safety should be punished strongly.

In fact, there are so many car accident for drunken drivers in Korea.
>> In fact, there are so many car accidents for drunk drivers in Korea.

We always get mad to hear such an accident.
>> Correct!
Or: We always get mad to hear such accidents.

So, the government have to strengthen the law for drunken driving.
>> So, the government have to strengthen the law for drunk driving.

Furthermore they should check the function of transport frequently.
>> Correct!
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04

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