무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think that money can buy happiness?

작성자: 김*겸
2022-07-07 1136

회원님의 영작문

Money is important for life. I can do almost everything if I have money. However, I can't buy happiness with only money because every rich people are not happy although they have great money.

Then, don’t I need money to be happy? The answer is No. I can be more convenient and rich with much money.
But it is sure that we can get happy with little money. We can see many poor family loving each other about us.

So how can we be happy?
Above all, I think we need beloved ones to be with to be happy because happiness comes from not what I have but who I am with.

I'm not telling you that I don't need money. I also need money to live. The thing is that relationship is more important than money for us to be happy. Therefore, I hope I have enough money, good family and good friends to be happy.

*Thank you for teaching me, teacher! These days I feel that my English level is getting up and up thanks to you. I look forward to your kind and continuous support.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Rana!

Very good answer! You are right! It's not all about money. Yes, money is essential to us, since it is what we use to purchase the things that we need. But I think happiness comes from the little things that we do every day, especially with the people we love. Also, being satisfied with what we have can also make us feel happy. 

*You're welcome! Thank you as well for showing a very nice attitude in the class and I can really see that you are doing your best to learn in the class. Keep up the good work!

I'm also looking forward to have a more fun and interesting class with you. See you later ^^

~T. Roanne ^_^
=======================================================
Money is important for life. 
>> Correct! 
I can do almost everything if I have money. 
>> Correct! 
However, I can't buy happiness with only money because every rich people are not happy although they have great money.
>> However, I can't buy happiness with only money, because every rich people are not happy although they have great money.

Then, don’t I need money to be happy? The answer is No. 
>> Correct! 
I can be more convenient and rich with much money.
>> I can be more convenient and be rich with much money.
But it is sure that we can get happy with little money. 
>> But it is sure that we can get happy with less money. 
We can see many poor family loving each other about us.
>> We can see many poor family loving each other.

So how can we be happy?
>> Correct! 
Above all, I think we need beloved ones to be with to be happy because happiness comes from not what I have but who I am with.
>> Above all, I think we need to be with our beloved ones to be happy because happiness comes from not what I have but who I am with.

I'm not telling you that I don't need money. 
>> Correct! 
I also need money to live. 
>> Correct! 
The thing is that relationship is more important than money for us to be happy. 
>> The thing is that the relationship is more important than money for us to be happy. 
Therefore, I hope I have enough money, good family and good friends to be happy.
>> Correct! 





번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
123683 If you were to build your own cafe, what kind of concept do you... 김*규 완료 2022-11-20 2
123682 Who is the greatest woman you know? 김*문 완료 2022-11-19 1309
123681 In your opinion, why do people tell lies? How about you? 김*율 완료 2022-11-19 1846
123680 Why do you think work-life balance is important? 김*문 완료 2022-11-19 1615
123679 born 민*정 완료 2022-11-19 1
123678 Use the following words in creative sentences 신*섭 완료 2022-11-19 2095
123677 What is the dirtiest job you could think of? Why? 구*우 완료 2022-11-19 1971
123676 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? 구*우 완료 2022-11-19 1682
123675 What are the advantages and disadvantages of taking exams? 김*국 완료 2022-11-19 12
123674 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using the internet? 김*국 완료 2022-11-19 7
123673 Homework 김*우 완료 2022-11-19 2183
123672 My parents and me 김*윤 완료 2022-11-18 1832
123671 homework 박*민 완료 2022-11-18 2
123670 What are some of the most important customs of your country? 구*우 완료 2022-11-18 1652
123669 Homework 김*연 완료 2022-11-18 1360
123668 What do you think is an appropriate punishment for... 태*서 완료 2022-11-18 2399
123667 What are the classic video games that you grew up with? Can you... 신*섭 완료 2022-11-18 2016
123666 homework 정*호 완료 2022-11-18 0
123665 The reason that we should choose friends wisely 김*우 완료 2022-11-18 0
123664 homework 박*은 완료 2022-11-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]