¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Jul 4th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-07-06 686

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think that money can buy happiness?
Yes. I think that money can buy happiness. the meaning of that,as far as I define it as, is that I can be happy with money.
No. Actually, everyone knows "MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS" And the more I have, the happier I would be. Some people say "Money can not make us happy itself. There's something more important than money". However, the chances are the people who say this must be the ones who don't have enough and don't even try to earn more money, sacrificing their instant gratifications and paying the price.
And this is what I heard on a YouTube clip on the way home today, in the evening. We know dozens of people who are kind to everyone and help others with their full heart. But it is obvious that most of them are poor or live under the average life, in the aspects of how much money they have.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one. Have a good rest!

~T. Roanne ^_^
===================================================
Yes. I think that money can buy happiness. 
>> Correct! 
the meaning of that,as far as I define it as, is that I can be happy with money.
>> The meaning of that, as far as I define it as, is that I can be happy with money.
No. Actually, everyone knows "MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS" And the more I have, the happier I would be. 
>> No. Actually, everyone knows "MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS" And the more I have, the happier I would be. 
Some people say "Money can not make us happy itself. 
>> Correct! 
There's something more important than money". 
>> Correct! 
However, the chances are the people who say this must be the ones who don't have enough and don't even try to earn more money, sacrificing their instant gratifications and paying the price.
>> Correct! 
And this is what I heard on a YouTube clip on the way home today, in the evening. 
>> Correct! 
We know dozens of people who are kind to everyone and help others with their full heart. 
>> Correct! 
But it is obvious that most of them are poor or live under the average life, in the aspects of how much money they have.
>> Correct! 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124226 What do you use social media for? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1128
124225 Do you think people should give money to homeless people? Why or... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1077
124224 My small dream ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 6
124223 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 0
124222 It is been a while. ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1406
124221 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 2
124220 Travel is Two edged of sword! ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1199
124219 Homework 12/16 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 4
124218 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1
124217 Complete the following sentences using an appropriate adjective... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1175
124216 What do you dislike about playgrounds? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 0
124215 Can you talk about one thing that scares you? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 954
124214 Name some natural disasters you know about. Which one is the... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1236
124213 eating only between 1pm and 8pm, and then not eating for the... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 851
124212 What is the Spirit of Christmas? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 998
124211 Are you good at solving your own problems? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 851
124210 How to make chocolate? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 972
124209 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1072
124208 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 2
124207 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-15 1202

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04