¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Jul 4th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-07-06 529

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think that money can buy happiness?
Yes. I think that money can buy happiness. the meaning of that,as far as I define it as, is that I can be happy with money.
No. Actually, everyone knows "MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS" And the more I have, the happier I would be. Some people say "Money can not make us happy itself. There's something more important than money". However, the chances are the people who say this must be the ones who don't have enough and don't even try to earn more money, sacrificing their instant gratifications and paying the price.
And this is what I heard on a YouTube clip on the way home today, in the evening. We know dozens of people who are kind to everyone and help others with their full heart. But it is obvious that most of them are poor or live under the average life, in the aspects of how much money they have.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one. Have a good rest!

~T. Roanne ^_^
===================================================
Yes. I think that money can buy happiness. 
>> Correct! 
the meaning of that,as far as I define it as, is that I can be happy with money.
>> The meaning of that, as far as I define it as, is that I can be happy with money.
No. Actually, everyone knows "MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS" And the more I have, the happier I would be. 
>> No. Actually, everyone knows "MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS" And the more I have, the happier I would be. 
Some people say "Money can not make us happy itself. 
>> Correct! 
There's something more important than money". 
>> Correct! 
However, the chances are the people who say this must be the ones who don't have enough and don't even try to earn more money, sacrificing their instant gratifications and paying the price.
>> Correct! 
And this is what I heard on a YouTube clip on the way home today, in the evening. 
>> Correct! 
We know dozens of people who are kind to everyone and help others with their full heart. 
>> Correct! 
But it is obvious that most of them are poor or live under the average life, in the aspects of how much money they have.
>> Correct! 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119157 No wonder I will speak English well because I will study English... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 188
119156 How would you introduce South Korea to other countries? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 141
119155 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 1
119154 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 1
119153 Any foods ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 3
119152 In your opinion, what habits should you have to have a... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 0
119151 Market È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 1
119150 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 99
119149 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 100
119148 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 83
119147 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 74
119146 5.18 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 97
119145 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 88
119144 What is Korea\'s best tourist attraction? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 3
119143 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 1
119142 My lifetime dream. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 172
119141 Driving under influence of alcohol is a big problem these days.... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 136
119140 Why I like meeting new people. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 110
119139 Are you worried about your future? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 123
119138 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 60

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04