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Who is the person that you admire the most? .

작성자: 백*원
2022-07-06 1049

회원님의 영작문

Who is the person that you admire the most? Why? Explain your answer in not more than ten (10) sentences.

I respect my dad the most. The reason why I admire him is because of his strong mental and leadership. He owns his company and he has lots of employees in Korea, China, Vietnam,, etc. So I always qurious about leading all of them. I used to be class president in high school. But it was hard to make them to follow my order. My dad used to be a journalist. He was scouted during an interview with some company. So he worked at that company for 2 years and after he quited the company he set up his own company from now. I always envy his decision and objective mind.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day Harry!
It finally stopped raining in my city and it's now sunny. How about in yours? 
Thank you for diligently writing an essay regarding this topic. I also look up to my father as my role model because of the same reasons that you have. 
I hope you become as responsible and dedicated as him and someday become a very good leader or CEO. ^^
You're lucky to have him as your role model. Take the opportunity to learn as much as you can from him.
Anyhow, I hope you're having a great day.
See you in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry :)

I respect my dad the most. T
>> CORRECT!
The reason why I admire him is because of his strong mental and leadership. 
>> The reason why I admire him is because of his strong mentality and leadership.
He owns his company and he has lots of employees in Korea, China, Vietnam,, etc. 
>> He owns his company and he has lots of employees in Korea, China, Vietnam, and in other countries.
So I always qurious about leading all of them. 
>> So, I am always curious about how he manages to lead all of them.
I used to be class president in high school. 
>> I used to be a class president in high school.
But it was hard to make them to follow my order. 
>> But it was hard to make my classmates follow my orders. 
My dad used to be a journalist. 
>> CORRECT!
He was scouted during an interview with some company. 
>> He was scouted during an interview with a company. 
So he worked at that company for 2 years and after he quited the company he set up his own company from now. 
>> So he worked at that company for 2 years and after he quitted working in that company, he set up his own company. 
I always envy his decision and objective mind.
>> I have always been envious of his decision-making skills and his objective way of thinking.
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