¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who influenced you the most in life? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-07-04 405

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many people around me must have influenced me in any way. However, if I have to select one who influenced me the most., it must be my God. Whether you are religious or not, it is true of me and you. I realized who God is or what God means to me when I was a middle-high school student. He who knows everything about me has been with me all the time. Also, I feel very comfortable with Him even though He is described as a powerful king or judge as well.

He challenged me whenever I had no option but to keep my head above water. When I tried to hold His hand in faith, He never failed to show His mercy on me and led me into a green pasture.

As a result, my perspective started to change because I came to know that the Great God has been working for me behind the scenes, and He has been behind me. So sometimes I expect some blessings in disguise in my life. These benefits are not just for me but all people who count on Him in faith.

In short, God influenced me the most in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve!  

Yes, we need to learn how to be contented with what we have and make the most out of it. We are unique in our own ways. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soo

I still have many things to improve even in my forties such as my quick temper. 
>> I still have many things to improve, even if I am already in my 40's, such as being short tempered. 

But If the question above is about my appearance, it sounds off the point, but it reminds me of my youth who was so much into my looks. 
>> But If the question above is about my appearance, the first thing on my mind is my youth, wherein I care a lot about my looks. 

In my youth, I had many things that I wanted to change about myself. 
>> When I was young, I had many things that I wanted to change about myself. 

And I thought I could be someone new through some changes about my appearance. 
>> I thought I could be someone new through those changes. 

So I asked my parents to help me change my appearance, and sometimes I used to hold a grudge against my parents who didn¡¯t help me actively. (now my parents and I really hit if off) 
>> So I asked my parents to help me change my appearance, and sometimes I used to hold grudges against them since they didn't help me actively. Gladly, me and my parents and I really hit if off now. 

However, as I am getting old and wise enough to distinguish what¡¯s precious in life from useless things, the things is to satisfy what I have or be content with what I am given by God who knows everything. 
>> However, as I am getting old and wise enough to distinguish what¡¯s precious in life from useless things, I realized that we should be contented with what God has given us. 

I started to find out about God's will to make me like this instead of searching ways to change my appearance.
>> I started to find out about God's will to make me love myself instead of searching ways to change my appearance.

 Now I try to love myself including my appearance as much as possible
>>  Now I try to love myself, including my appearance, as much as possible
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123642 The accent ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1
123641 Complete the following sentences or make them longer ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1847
123640 When you were younger, which one provided you with better... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1744
123639 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1343
123638 practice ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 0
123637 16.Nov.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 2
123636 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 1933
123635 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 45
123634 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 3
123633 Which character from a book, movie or TV program would you like... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1601
123632 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1
123631 Describe your favorite cafe ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 23
123630 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1821
123629 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1721
123628 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 0
123627 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1953
123626 Do you believe human activities contribute to climate change? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1378
123625 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 2
123624 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 1815
123623 Is reading in a second language a good way to practice that... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-16 2246

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04