¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who influenced you the most in life? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-07-04 431

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many people around me must have influenced me in any way. However, if I have to select one who influenced me the most., it must be my God. Whether you are religious or not, it is true of me and you. I realized who God is or what God means to me when I was a middle-high school student. He who knows everything about me has been with me all the time. Also, I feel very comfortable with Him even though He is described as a powerful king or judge as well.

He challenged me whenever I had no option but to keep my head above water. When I tried to hold His hand in faith, He never failed to show His mercy on me and led me into a green pasture.

As a result, my perspective started to change because I came to know that the Great God has been working for me behind the scenes, and He has been behind me. So sometimes I expect some blessings in disguise in my life. These benefits are not just for me but all people who count on Him in faith.

In short, God influenced me the most in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve!  

Yes, we need to learn how to be contented with what we have and make the most out of it. We are unique in our own ways. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soo

I still have many things to improve even in my forties such as my quick temper. 
>> I still have many things to improve, even if I am already in my 40's, such as being short tempered. 

But If the question above is about my appearance, it sounds off the point, but it reminds me of my youth who was so much into my looks. 
>> But If the question above is about my appearance, the first thing on my mind is my youth, wherein I care a lot about my looks. 

In my youth, I had many things that I wanted to change about myself. 
>> When I was young, I had many things that I wanted to change about myself. 

And I thought I could be someone new through some changes about my appearance. 
>> I thought I could be someone new through those changes. 

So I asked my parents to help me change my appearance, and sometimes I used to hold a grudge against my parents who didn¡¯t help me actively. (now my parents and I really hit if off) 
>> So I asked my parents to help me change my appearance, and sometimes I used to hold grudges against them since they didn't help me actively. Gladly, me and my parents and I really hit if off now. 

However, as I am getting old and wise enough to distinguish what¡¯s precious in life from useless things, the things is to satisfy what I have or be content with what I am given by God who knows everything. 
>> However, as I am getting old and wise enough to distinguish what¡¯s precious in life from useless things, I realized that we should be contented with what God has given us. 

I started to find out about God's will to make me like this instead of searching ways to change my appearance.
>> I started to find out about God's will to make me love myself instead of searching ways to change my appearance.

 Now I try to love myself including my appearance as much as possible
>>  Now I try to love myself, including my appearance, as much as possible
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124245 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-18 988
124244 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-18 877
124243 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-17 1111
124242 The Christmas spirit ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1155
124241 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 814
124240 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 601
124239 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 859
124238 What is the Spirit of Christmas? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1179
124237 Homework(12/16) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 0
124236 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 3
124235 Make a story about counting number. ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 963
124234 HOMEWORK: What do you think of being a florist someday? Discuss... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 0
124233 HOMEWORK: What does \"Thanksgiving\" mean to you? Discuss in 3... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 0
124232 HOMEWORK: Make a sentence for each interrogative adjective. 1.... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 2
124231 Tell something valuable that you know about Korea\'s history. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1034
124230 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1704
124229 Writing Exercise: If you could pack only 3 items for your next... ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 869
124228 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1432
124227 Should death penalty be practiced in your country? Why or why... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1054
124226 What do you use social media for? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1130

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04