¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who influenced you the most in life? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-07-04 356

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many people around me must have influenced me in any way. However, if I have to select one who influenced me the most., it must be my God. Whether you are religious or not, it is true of me and you. I realized who God is or what God means to me when I was a middle-high school student. He who knows everything about me has been with me all the time. Also, I feel very comfortable with Him even though He is described as a powerful king or judge as well.

He challenged me whenever I had no option but to keep my head above water. When I tried to hold His hand in faith, He never failed to show His mercy on me and led me into a green pasture.

As a result, my perspective started to change because I came to know that the Great God has been working for me behind the scenes, and He has been behind me. So sometimes I expect some blessings in disguise in my life. These benefits are not just for me but all people who count on Him in faith.

In short, God influenced me the most in my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve!  

Yes, we need to learn how to be contented with what we have and make the most out of it. We are unique in our own ways. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soo

I still have many things to improve even in my forties such as my quick temper. 
>> I still have many things to improve, even if I am already in my 40's, such as being short tempered. 

But If the question above is about my appearance, it sounds off the point, but it reminds me of my youth who was so much into my looks. 
>> But If the question above is about my appearance, the first thing on my mind is my youth, wherein I care a lot about my looks. 

In my youth, I had many things that I wanted to change about myself. 
>> When I was young, I had many things that I wanted to change about myself. 

And I thought I could be someone new through some changes about my appearance. 
>> I thought I could be someone new through those changes. 

So I asked my parents to help me change my appearance, and sometimes I used to hold a grudge against my parents who didn¡¯t help me actively. (now my parents and I really hit if off) 
>> So I asked my parents to help me change my appearance, and sometimes I used to hold grudges against them since they didn't help me actively. Gladly, me and my parents and I really hit if off now. 

However, as I am getting old and wise enough to distinguish what¡¯s precious in life from useless things, the things is to satisfy what I have or be content with what I am given by God who knows everything. 
>> However, as I am getting old and wise enough to distinguish what¡¯s precious in life from useless things, I realized that we should be contented with what God has given us. 

I started to find out about God's will to make me like this instead of searching ways to change my appearance.
>> I started to find out about God's will to make me love myself instead of searching ways to change my appearance.

 Now I try to love myself including my appearance as much as possible
>>  Now I try to love myself, including my appearance, as much as possible
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122552 School ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1483
122551 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1285
122550 9/22... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1740
122549 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1708
122548 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1496
122547 What would your life be like without eggs? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1653
122546 Can the death penalty be effective? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 2
122545 What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 2978
122544 loosen up ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 3
122543 Do you love your grandparents? Why or why not? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1594
122542 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1397
122541 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1009
122540 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 2
122539 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1565
122538 What should you do when you have a stomachache? ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1465
122537 Which animals make the best pets? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1491
122536 The popular game in Korea among kids ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 0
122535 Use the following words in creative sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1675
122534 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 0
122533 Should I go to university, or not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1657

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04