¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Looking back on your life so far, talk about a time when you exercised your independence—perha

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-07-04 1015

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I left my home when I was 20 years old. My university is really far from my hometown which takes about 3 hours by a train and a car. I asked my parents to rent a house for me because I needed to spend a lot of time in the public transportations. However, my parents were not able to support me due to financial problem. Fortunately, one of my friend would like to leave his home, so we decided to live together near my school. We encountered a lot of problem but we could overcome it because we were quite young. It is not a good memory, but I can say that it helps me a lot to construct my personality. There are many advantages living alone. I know how to cook, do laundry and I am good at washing dishe but there is some disadvantages. I sometimes feel lonely and miss my mom's food. I thought it is kind of my strength but my mother in law didn't think it is worth experience for her daughter because she wanted her daughter to get married with someone who were living under the harmonious family

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


I left my home when I was 20 years old. 
>> CORRECT!
My university is really far from my hometown which takes about 3 hours by a train and a car. 
>> CORRECT!
I asked my parents to rent a house for me because I needed to spend a lot of time in the public transportations. 
>> I asked my parents to rent a house for me because I needed to spend a lot of time in using public transportations. 
However, my parents were not able to support me due to financial problem. 
>> However, my parents were not able to support me due to financial problems. 
Fortunately, one of my friend would like to leave his home, so we decided to live together near my school. 
>> Fortunately, one of my friends would like to leave his home, so we decided to live together near my school. 
We encountered a lot of problem but we could overcome it because we were quite young. It is not a good memory, but I can say that it helps me a lot to construct my personality. 
>> CORRECT!
There are many advantages living alone. 
>> CORRECT!
I know how to cook, do laundry and I am good at washing dishe but there is some disadvantages. 
>> I know how to cook, do laundry, and I am good at washing dishes, but there are also some disadvantages. 
I sometimes feel lonely and miss my mom's food. 
>> CORRECT!
I thought it is kind of my strength but my mother in law didn't think it is worth experience for her daughter because she wanted her daughter to get married with someone who were living under the harmonious family
>> I thought it is one of my strengths but my mother-in-law didn't think it is a worthy experience for her daughter because she wanted her daughter to get married with someone who lives in a harmonious family.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117390 What is a way to solve your country\'s fast-aging population? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 2
117389 Do you watch TV or do you prefer to stream from the internet? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 684
117388 Fill in the blanks using the correct idiom to complete the... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 389
117387 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 0
117386 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 0
117385 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 2
117384 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 384
117383 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 317
117382 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 2
117381 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 367
117380 My hometown foods. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 555
117379 What is your dream home? What home improvements would you like... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 246
117378 Favorite Restaurant ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 600
117377 Tell me about the time you went above and beyond ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 253
117376 Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 0
117375 What if I don\'t have a mobile phone? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 518
117374 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 366
117373 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 339
117372 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 417
117371 Writing Task(Mar 14th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 508

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04