¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Looking back on your life so far, talk about a time when you exercised your independence—perha

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-07-04 910

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I left my home when I was 20 years old. My university is really far from my hometown which takes about 3 hours by a train and a car. I asked my parents to rent a house for me because I needed to spend a lot of time in the public transportations. However, my parents were not able to support me due to financial problem. Fortunately, one of my friend would like to leave his home, so we decided to live together near my school. We encountered a lot of problem but we could overcome it because we were quite young. It is not a good memory, but I can say that it helps me a lot to construct my personality. There are many advantages living alone. I know how to cook, do laundry and I am good at washing dishe but there is some disadvantages. I sometimes feel lonely and miss my mom's food. I thought it is kind of my strength but my mother in law didn't think it is worth experience for her daughter because she wanted her daughter to get married with someone who were living under the harmonious family

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


I left my home when I was 20 years old. 
>> CORRECT!
My university is really far from my hometown which takes about 3 hours by a train and a car. 
>> CORRECT!
I asked my parents to rent a house for me because I needed to spend a lot of time in the public transportations. 
>> I asked my parents to rent a house for me because I needed to spend a lot of time in using public transportations. 
However, my parents were not able to support me due to financial problem. 
>> However, my parents were not able to support me due to financial problems. 
Fortunately, one of my friend would like to leave his home, so we decided to live together near my school. 
>> Fortunately, one of my friends would like to leave his home, so we decided to live together near my school. 
We encountered a lot of problem but we could overcome it because we were quite young. It is not a good memory, but I can say that it helps me a lot to construct my personality. 
>> CORRECT!
There are many advantages living alone. 
>> CORRECT!
I know how to cook, do laundry and I am good at washing dishe but there is some disadvantages. 
>> I know how to cook, do laundry, and I am good at washing dishes, but there are also some disadvantages. 
I sometimes feel lonely and miss my mom's food. 
>> CORRECT!
I thought it is kind of my strength but my mother in law didn't think it is worth experience for her daughter because she wanted her daughter to get married with someone who were living under the harmonious family
>> I thought it is one of my strengths but my mother-in-law didn't think it is a worthy experience for her daughter because she wanted her daughter to get married with someone who lives in a harmonious family.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122604 What do you really hate having to do in your free time? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 2307
122603 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 1506
122602 Homework ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 1481
122601 When do you realize that your patience is wearing thin? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 2139
122600 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 1689
122599 Hi Gemma ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 4
122598 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 1543
122597 The happening ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 2
122596 Hi Mayleen ±è*¿Ï ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 1803
122595 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 1
122594 What was the most expensive treatment you ever spent for... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 4
122593 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-26 2072
122592 What was the most expensive treatment you ever spent for... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 6
122591 9/22 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 1838
122590 9/21 À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 2213
122589 What was the most memorable lesson your grandparents taught you? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 1761
122588 What\'s more important when learning a language: speaking,... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 1
122587 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 1618
122586 homework ¹Ú*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 1
122585 Fitness Program Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04