¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

cheap long lasting

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼­*ȯ
2022-07-04 542

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

umm maybe it is hard question..because each people think different about that issue. but in my opinion i love cheap one. you know
we have to consider every part of the product when we buy something. but if we buy long lasting product there must be some bad part. you know long lasting things are expensive right? after i buy long lasting things and find some error on it. i can't litter it because it is expensive!! but when i buy cheap one i can easliy throw away. so l think cheap produt is more efficient

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Robin!
Thanks for this essay.  Another tip for you to increase your score is to use various vocabulary or expressions.  Use synonyms and not only the same words in your answer.  That's how native speakers do it. ^^


~T. Maine

umm maybe it is hard question..because each people think different about that issue. 
>>Maybe it is a hard question because each person thinks differently about this issue. 
but in my opinion i love cheap one. 
>>But in my opinion I love a cheap one. 
you know we have to consider every part of the product when we buy something. 
>>You know we have to consider each part of the product when we buy something. 
but if we buy long lasting product there must be some bad part. 
>>But if we buy a long-lasting product there must be some bad parts of it. 
you know long lasting things are expensive right? 
>>You know long-lasting things are expensive, right?
after i buy long lasting things and find some error on it.  i can't litter it because it is expensive!! 
>>After I buy long-lasting things and find some errors in them, I can't throw them away because they are costly. 
but when i buy cheap one i can easliy throw away. 
>>But when I buy cheap ones, I can easily put them away. 
so l think cheap produt is more efficient
>>So I think cheap products are more efficient and useful in some ways. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123577 Why do you think that other people have more problems than... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-15 2
123576 14.Nov .2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 2
123575 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 1606
123574 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 0
123573 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 1
123572 What do you think is the most serious problem in the world? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 9
123571 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 2
123570 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 1514
123569 What book had the biggest impact on your life and why? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 1617
123568 Which is more powerful between feelings of love and feelings of... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 1588
123567 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 2349
123566 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 0
123565 Should books be censored? Why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 2212
123564 Elementary is the last time that students can enjoy freedom ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 1
123563 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 1924
123562 Travel plans of this year ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 2
123561 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 1
123560 homework ◡̈ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 0
123559 What do you think will happen if your country falls into a... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-14 1692
123558 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-13 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04