¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

cheap long lasting

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼­*ȯ
2022-07-04 575

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

umm maybe it is hard question..because each people think different about that issue. but in my opinion i love cheap one. you know
we have to consider every part of the product when we buy something. but if we buy long lasting product there must be some bad part. you know long lasting things are expensive right? after i buy long lasting things and find some error on it. i can't litter it because it is expensive!! but when i buy cheap one i can easliy throw away. so l think cheap produt is more efficient

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Robin!
Thanks for this essay.  Another tip for you to increase your score is to use various vocabulary or expressions.  Use synonyms and not only the same words in your answer.  That's how native speakers do it. ^^


~T. Maine

umm maybe it is hard question..because each people think different about that issue. 
>>Maybe it is a hard question because each person thinks differently about this issue. 
but in my opinion i love cheap one. 
>>But in my opinion I love a cheap one. 
you know we have to consider every part of the product when we buy something. 
>>You know we have to consider each part of the product when we buy something. 
but if we buy long lasting product there must be some bad part. 
>>But if we buy a long-lasting product there must be some bad parts of it. 
you know long lasting things are expensive right? 
>>You know long-lasting things are expensive, right?
after i buy long lasting things and find some error on it.  i can't litter it because it is expensive!! 
>>After I buy long-lasting things and find some errors in them, I can't throw them away because they are costly. 
but when i buy cheap one i can easliy throw away. 
>>But when I buy cheap ones, I can easily put them away. 
so l think cheap produt is more efficient
>>So I think cheap products are more efficient and useful in some ways. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123964 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 1387
123963 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 1319
123962 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 988
123961 Are you good at beating deadlines? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-04 3
123960 Apology and homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-03 1603
123959 Research about what \'lactose intolerant\' is ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-03 834
123958 Complete the following sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-03 1493
123957 Homework (12/2) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-03 4
123956 What offers or requests shouldn¡¯t you refuse? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-03 1556
123955 In your opinion, what habits should you have to have a... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1437
123954 Watching movies in English is heplful for learning English. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1275
123953 Are online dating sites just a scam? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1295
123952 Why do you think it\'s difficult for people to talk about... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1613
123951 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1450
123950 HOMEWORK: Make a sentence for each of the indefinite pronouns:... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 2
123949 Do you think your neighborhood is safe? ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 0
123948 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1200
123947 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1022
123946 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 2
123945 What\'s more important to you when you travel - comfort and... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1176

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04