¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

cheap long lasting

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼­*ȯ
2022-07-04 402

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

umm maybe it is hard question..because each people think different about that issue. but in my opinion i love cheap one. you know
we have to consider every part of the product when we buy something. but if we buy long lasting product there must be some bad part. you know long lasting things are expensive right? after i buy long lasting things and find some error on it. i can't litter it because it is expensive!! but when i buy cheap one i can easliy throw away. so l think cheap produt is more efficient

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Robin!
Thanks for this essay.  Another tip for you to increase your score is to use various vocabulary or expressions.  Use synonyms and not only the same words in your answer.  That's how native speakers do it. ^^


~T. Maine

umm maybe it is hard question..because each people think different about that issue. 
>>Maybe it is a hard question because each person thinks differently about this issue. 
but in my opinion i love cheap one. 
>>But in my opinion I love a cheap one. 
you know we have to consider every part of the product when we buy something. 
>>You know we have to consider each part of the product when we buy something. 
but if we buy long lasting product there must be some bad part. 
>>But if we buy a long-lasting product there must be some bad parts of it. 
you know long lasting things are expensive right? 
>>You know long-lasting things are expensive, right?
after i buy long lasting things and find some error on it.  i can't litter it because it is expensive!! 
>>After I buy long-lasting things and find some errors in them, I can't throw them away because they are costly. 
but when i buy cheap one i can easliy throw away. 
>>But when I buy cheap ones, I can easily put them away. 
so l think cheap produt is more efficient
>>So I think cheap products are more efficient and useful in some ways. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122000 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1
121999 What comes to your mind when you hear the expression \'Monday... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 2008
121998 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1
121997 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 6
121996 Hi Jhozel ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 6
121995 Tell me about at least three particular places which are within... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1193
121994 What are the benefits of watching comedy movies? ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 998
121993 Do you agree that social distancing should be brought back? Why... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 2
121992 Healthy Lifestyle Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 2
121991 homework ◡̈ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1508
121990 Who is the tallest person in your family? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1276
121989 How do you over come the generation gap? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1913
121988 Opinions are important! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1728
121987 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1242
121986 Do you often lend money to friends or family? Why or why not? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1110
121985 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1741
121984 8/29 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2588
121983 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1629
121982 What usually makes people confident? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1266
121981 If you can change your name, what would it be? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04