무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Can the government do anything to improve people’s health?

작성자: 황*하
2022-06-30 754

회원님의 영작문

It is proved that the life expectancy can be increased, if the government provide various services by proper measures. I think that the most improtant thing is the national health insurance. People are asked to pay insurance fee according to their income, it is not high amount so most people are willing to pay it. People have a right to get medical service with discounted price that might be 10% of total medical expenses. I believe that all Koreans don't worry about their medical fee because of the national insurance. Regular medical check-up is also effective way to improve people's health. We can see the total cancer patients are increaseing every year but it doen't mean that the government's mesure is failed because people find their disease earler. It give an opportunities to treat patients in an early stage, so it show the positive results regarding the survival rate. I think nutrition is one of the things people have to care so government educate people what they eat to maintain

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


It is proved that the life expectancy can be increased, if the government provide various services by proper measures. 
>> CORRECT!
I think that the most improtant thing is the national health insurance. 
>> I think that the most important thing is the national health insurance. 
OR >> I think that the most important thing is securing a national health insurance. 
People are asked to pay insurance fee according to their income, it is not high amount so most people are willing to pay it. 
>> People are asked to pay insurance fee according to their income, it is not a high amount so most people are willing to pay it. 
OR >>  People are asked to pay insurance fee according to their income, the amount isn't that high so most people are willing to pay it.
People have a right to get medical service with discounted price that might be 10% of total medical expenses. 
>> CORRECT!
I believe that all Koreans don't worry about their medical fee because of the national insurance.
>> CORRECT!
Regular medical check-up is also effective way to improve people's health. 
>> Regular medical check-up is also an effective way to improve people's health. 
We can see the total cancer patients are increaseing every year but it doen't mean that the government's mesure is failed because people find their disease earler. 
>> We can see the total cancer patients are increaseing every year but it doesn't mean that the government measures are failed because people find their disease earlier. 
It give an opportunities to treat patients in an early stage, so it show the positive results regarding the survival rate. 
>> It gives opportunities to treat patients in an early stage, so it shows the positive results regarding the survival rate. 
I think nutrition is one of the things people have to care so government educate people what they eat to maintain
>> I think nutrition is one of the things people have to care so government educate people what they eat to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
121285 Post a picture of your favorite activity to do during your free... 신*섭 완료 2022-08-03 553
121284 How do you think technology will change how we eat in the future? 김*지 완료 2022-08-02 491
121283 8/2 HOMEWORK 이*유 완료 2022-08-02 609
121282 What is special about your country’s cuisine? 김*지 완료 2022-08-02 1206
121281 Do you think that money and fame mean success? 이*태 완료 2022-08-02 361
121280 Do you want to keep up with fashion trends? 김*규 완료 2022-08-02 5
121279 Do you think (or suspect) that people who work for the health... 권*원 완료 2022-08-02 494
121278 homework 김*연 완료 2022-08-02 682
121277 HW; 8/2 이*하 완료 2022-08-02 922
121276 homework 박*민 완료 2022-08-02 2
121275 8.1 숙제 임*호 완료 2022-08-02 13
121274 Homework 이*경 완료 2022-08-02 554
121273 Traveling to a new country. 김*윤 완료 2022-08-02 763
121272 What was your most recent travel experience? 김*경 완료 2022-08-02 806
121271 Stress 차*진 완료 2022-08-02 4
121270 Making three sentences using \"Count\" 김*경 완료 2022-08-02 427
121269 Homework 김*우 완료 2022-08-02 1199
121268 What do you think is the most common crime in your country? 백*원 완료 2022-08-02 1466
121267 let me introduce my self 임*준 완료 2022-08-02 4
121266 About school cafeterias 김*규 완료 2022-08-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]