¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should your country accept refugees? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*¿ø
2022-06-30 411

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Should your country accept refugees? Why or why not?

I think South Korea is hard to live for refugees. Because there are only few facilities to help refugees. And the price of houses is very expensive for them, especially in Seoul (It is our capital city). It¡¯s because the South Korea has small territory.
So I don¡¯t suggest them to come to the South Korea.

It is hard to upload the text to files.. I can only write it on this one.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Harry!
Congratulations for submitting your first homework! ^_^ You struggled to upload the texts but you still made it. 
I think you should directly write your homework here. 
By the  way, I loved reading your opinion about the matter on refugees.
I think not all countries are capable of taking them in. Even first world countries struggle to do so. 
But it's sometimes sad to see refugees not having any place to go. 
Sometimes, I think the world is unfair. T_T
Anyhow, I hope you're having a great day. ^^ 
I heard its gloomy and rainy out there again so stay warm, dry and safe. 
See you again tomorrow. ^^
~Teacher Charry



I think South Korea is hard to live for refugees. 
>> I think it's hard for South Korea to allow refugees to live here. 
Because there are only few facilities to help refugees. 
>> It's because there are only few facilities here that can help refugees. 
And the price of houses is very expensive for them, especially in Seoul (It is our capital city). 
>> In addition, the price of houses is very expensive for them especially in Seoul, which is our capital city. 
It¡¯s because the South Korea has small territory.
>> It¡¯s because South Korea is a small country. 
So I don¡¯t suggest them to come to the South Korea.
>> 
So I don¡¯t suggest them to come to South Korea.
It is hard to upload the text to files.. 
>> It is hard to upload the text to files. 
I can only write it on this one.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120429 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 9
120428 What are your plans this coming weekend? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 406
120427 advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large... ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120426 Homework for 07.04.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120425 Who is the person that you admire the most? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 0
120424 What are your daily habits? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 417
120423 What culture in South Korea would you want to bring back? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 441
120422 Writing Task(Jul 1th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 376
120421 Have you ever rented a house to live in before? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 4
120420 Can you think of some reason why people don\'t keep dogs or cats? ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 268
120419 7/4 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 352
120418 Writing Task(Jun 30th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 327
120417 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 301
120416 Who among your children resembles or looks like you most? Can... ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 2
120415 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 3
120414 If I were a visitor to your house, what customs should I do?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 351
120413 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 418
120412 Who influenced you the most in life? Explain your answer. ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 223
120411 Are dogs really \"a man¡¯s best friend\"? How? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 352
120410 Please review Á¤*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04