¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should your country accept refugees? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*¿ø
2022-06-30 523

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Should your country accept refugees? Why or why not?

I think South Korea is hard to live for refugees. Because there are only few facilities to help refugees. And the price of houses is very expensive for them, especially in Seoul (It is our capital city). It¡¯s because the South Korea has small territory.
So I don¡¯t suggest them to come to the South Korea.

It is hard to upload the text to files.. I can only write it on this one.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Harry!
Congratulations for submitting your first homework! ^_^ You struggled to upload the texts but you still made it. 
I think you should directly write your homework here. 
By the  way, I loved reading your opinion about the matter on refugees.
I think not all countries are capable of taking them in. Even first world countries struggle to do so. 
But it's sometimes sad to see refugees not having any place to go. 
Sometimes, I think the world is unfair. T_T
Anyhow, I hope you're having a great day. ^^ 
I heard its gloomy and rainy out there again so stay warm, dry and safe. 
See you again tomorrow. ^^
~Teacher Charry



I think South Korea is hard to live for refugees. 
>> I think it's hard for South Korea to allow refugees to live here. 
Because there are only few facilities to help refugees. 
>> It's because there are only few facilities here that can help refugees. 
And the price of houses is very expensive for them, especially in Seoul (It is our capital city). 
>> In addition, the price of houses is very expensive for them especially in Seoul, which is our capital city. 
It¡¯s because the South Korea has small territory.
>> It¡¯s because South Korea is a small country. 
So I don¡¯t suggest them to come to the South Korea.
>> 
So I don¡¯t suggest them to come to South Korea.
It is hard to upload the text to files.. 
>> It is hard to upload the text to files. 
I can only write it on this one.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121720 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1206
121719 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121718 Having a child is. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 827
121717 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1
121716 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 627
121715 Daily work sentence review request.[3 sentence] ±Ç*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 10
121714 homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 803
121713 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1
121712 Libary ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121711 About Seoul ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 3
121710 Do you think your country should have more, or less, holidays?... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 4
121709 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121708 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 598
121707 who do you spend your free time with? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 6
121706 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 732
121705 Health Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 2
121704 What are the toughest jobs in the world? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 1177
121703 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-19 904
121702 What is good about renting something? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 1135
121701 8/18 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-18 994

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04