¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should your country accept refugees? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*¿ø
2022-06-30 562

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Should your country accept refugees? Why or why not?

I think South Korea is hard to live for refugees. Because there are only few facilities to help refugees. And the price of houses is very expensive for them, especially in Seoul (It is our capital city). It¡¯s because the South Korea has small territory.
So I don¡¯t suggest them to come to the South Korea.

It is hard to upload the text to files.. I can only write it on this one.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Harry!
Congratulations for submitting your first homework! ^_^ You struggled to upload the texts but you still made it. 
I think you should directly write your homework here. 
By the  way, I loved reading your opinion about the matter on refugees.
I think not all countries are capable of taking them in. Even first world countries struggle to do so. 
But it's sometimes sad to see refugees not having any place to go. 
Sometimes, I think the world is unfair. T_T
Anyhow, I hope you're having a great day. ^^ 
I heard its gloomy and rainy out there again so stay warm, dry and safe. 
See you again tomorrow. ^^
~Teacher Charry



I think South Korea is hard to live for refugees. 
>> I think it's hard for South Korea to allow refugees to live here. 
Because there are only few facilities to help refugees. 
>> It's because there are only few facilities here that can help refugees. 
And the price of houses is very expensive for them, especially in Seoul (It is our capital city). 
>> In addition, the price of houses is very expensive for them especially in Seoul, which is our capital city. 
It¡¯s because the South Korea has small territory.
>> It¡¯s because South Korea is a small country. 
So I don¡¯t suggest them to come to the South Korea.
>> 
So I don¡¯t suggest them to come to South Korea.
It is hard to upload the text to files.. 
>> It is hard to upload the text to files. 
I can only write it on this one.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122417 Hometown memories Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-18 3
122416 The neighbors ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-18 1
122415 Learning English Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-18 1
122414 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-18 1544
122413 What is the first thing that you would like to do in Australia? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-18 3
122412 Which animals are endangered? How can we protect them? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-17 2100
122411 How often do you have big family get-togethers? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-17 1
122410 Use the following words in create sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-17 1555
122409 Use the following words in creative sentences, one sentence per... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-17 1951
122408 Sleep Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-17 1
122407 Future Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-17 1
122406 If you had to choose between a satisfying job and a well-paid... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-17 1619
122405 Friend ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1384
122404 9/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1861
122403 book ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1302
122402 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 2
122401 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 3113
122400 How many different dances do you know? Are there any traditional... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1725
122399 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1112
122398 What new technology could you not live without? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 2026

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04