¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea is best country in the world

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-06-29 437

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think I am a Korean, that's why I think Korea is best country in the world.
Because Korea is very safety country.
People doesn't care other people things.
And sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem walking around late at night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann!  

Yes, everyone should have love for their country. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think I am a Korean, that's why I think Korea is best country in the world.
>> Since I am Korean, I think that South Korea is the best country in the world. 

Because Korea is very safety country.
>> It is because it is very safe here. 

People doesn't care other people things.
>> People don't care about other things. 

And sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem walking around late at night.
>>Sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem when it comes to walking around late at night.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120430 With a curfew, teenagers can¡¯t have any fun. Do you agree? Why... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 463
120429 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 9
120428 What are your plans this coming weekend? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 412
120427 advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large... ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120426 Homework for 07.04.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120425 Who is the person that you admire the most? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 0
120424 What are your daily habits? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 425
120423 What culture in South Korea would you want to bring back? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 449
120422 Writing Task(Jul 1th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 382
120421 Have you ever rented a house to live in before? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 4
120420 Can you think of some reason why people don\'t keep dogs or cats? ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 275
120419 7/4 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 358
120418 Writing Task(Jun 30th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 333
120417 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 308
120416 Who among your children resembles or looks like you most? Can... ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 2
120415 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 3
120414 If I were a visitor to your house, what customs should I do?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 358
120413 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 421
120412 Who influenced you the most in life? Explain your answer. ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 230
120411 Are dogs really \"a man¡¯s best friend\"? How? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-04 360

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04