¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea is best country in the world

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-06-29 453

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think I am a Korean, that's why I think Korea is best country in the world.
Because Korea is very safety country.
People doesn't care other people things.
And sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem walking around late at night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann!  

Yes, everyone should have love for their country. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think I am a Korean, that's why I think Korea is best country in the world.
>> Since I am Korean, I think that South Korea is the best country in the world. 

Because Korea is very safety country.
>> It is because it is very safe here. 

People doesn't care other people things.
>> People don't care about other things. 

And sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem walking around late at night.
>>Sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem when it comes to walking around late at night.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120604 What is one thing you have never done but would like to do? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 597
120603 Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day... ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 448
120602 Can you think of some disadvantages of being monolingual? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 2
120601 Jul 6th,2022 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 523
120600 Do you enjoy visiting famous restaurants that are viral/popular... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 3
120599 If you see a person that looks lost or needs help on the street,... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 2
120598 Describe the closest neighbor you could think of. Mention how... ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 435
120597 Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 1
120596 How can you make an interesting situation? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-10 3
120595 . ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-09 466
120594 Is your government good at dealing with and tackling social... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-09 3
120593 What illness are you afraid of the most and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-09 598
120592 Do you think monkeypox will be as severe as Covid-19? Why or why... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-09 765
120591 Would you say that good communication is central to your job?... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-09 600
120590 In your opinion, what can be done to prevent/stop workplace... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-09 757
120589 homework Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-09 636
120588 The plans ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-09 1
120587 What was the most memorable gift you have given or received? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-09 675
120586 About Gift vouchers ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-08 718
120585 7/8 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-08 284

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04