¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think you can be a minimalist?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Çö
2022-06-29 503

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm not minimalist. I want to get something. I will get a lot of electric equipment. Later, I will use them when I become a programmer. I am greedy that I want to own many laptops and computers and much electric equipment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning Jay!
Sure thing for a young mind like you have so many ideas! It's normal to have this kind off attitude  because it is your way of expressing your thoughts.
Thank you for your homework today and I have some few suggestions on how to write your sentence. keep learning :)
T. Aki~
I'm not minimalist. 
>>> CORRECT
I want to get something. 
>>> CORRECT
OR >>> There are still some things that I want to get.
I will get a lot of electric equipment. 
>>> I plan to get  lot of electronic equipment.
Later, I will use them when I become a programmer. 
>>> CORRECT
I am greedy that I want to own many laptops and computers and much electric equipment.
>>> I think I am greedy that I want to own many laptops and computers and more electronic equipment.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123540 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2554
123539 The planning ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1
123538 What would you do if you had friends who didn\'t like each... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2151
123537 What is the best way to handle a busy schedule? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1901
123536 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2134
123535 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1847
123534 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1973
123533 Is cloning good or bad? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1876
123532 What new innovations have you noticed nowadays? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2003
123531 How do you think marriage changes people? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1
123530 Do you like to try new restaurants, or do you prefer to go to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2031
123529 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1937
123528 seoul ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 0
123527 Do you agree that a society that is not capable of allowing... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2461
123526 Today ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2
123525 Was there a greater \"sense of community\" between neighbors in... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1641
123524 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1
123523 parents ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2029
123522 Do you trust everything you hear and see on the news? How can... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1518
123521 Are you a healthy person? What do you do about it? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2186

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04