¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Jun 28th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-28 428

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In your own opinion, Should kids have cell phones?
Yes. kids must have cell phones.
A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones. But I don't see that.
I bought my daughter her cell phone this year. She is only 6 years old. However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an imergency with no adults around her. The phone she has has the minimum function : making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
And when she gets older, I will buy her a new mobile phone with more functions.
The first and the foremost reason why I want buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one! Have a good night!

~T. Roanne ^_^
=============================================
Yes. kids must have cell phones.
>> Yes, kids must have cell phones. 
A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones. But I don't see that.
>> Correct! OR A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones, but I don't see that.
I bought my daughter her cell phone this year. She is only 6 years old. 
>> Correct! 
However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an imergency with no adults around her. 
>> However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an emergency with no adults around her. 
The phone she has has the minimum function : making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
>> The phone she has has the minimum function: making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
And when she gets older, I will buy her a new mobile phone with more functions.
>> Correct! 
The first and the foremost reason why I want buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!
>> The first and the foremost reason why I want to buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117339 Alien ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 527
117338 3/14 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 604
117337 Sad Dependence on Oblivion ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 597
117336 About Gayageum ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 2
117335 Do young people use their cell phones too much? Do you think... Àü*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 681
117334 Do you agree that changes in the business and economic sector... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 196
117333 Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 668
117332 Exciting experience ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 711
117331 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 412
117330 What fruits do you like to most? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 135
117329 What are the signs of aging that you feel at this point in your... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 3
117328 How many children do you want and why? Share your answer in a... ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 1
117327 What springs to mind when you hear the term ¡®junk food¡¯? - How... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 331
117326 What was the best help you have received? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 672
117325 If you were a dinosaur, which one would you be? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 193
117324 If you could change your name would you? What would it be? Why... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 176
117323 What kind of music ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 0
117322 How can you contribute? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 340
117321 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 1239
117320 Choose any of these sentences to complete with correct... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 174

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04