¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Jun 28th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-06-28 305

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In your own opinion, Should kids have cell phones?
Yes. kids must have cell phones.
A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones. But I don't see that.
I bought my daughter her cell phone this year. She is only 6 years old. However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an imergency with no adults around her. The phone she has has the minimum function : making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
And when she gets older, I will buy her a new mobile phone with more functions.
The first and the foremost reason why I want buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one! Have a good night!

~T. Roanne ^_^
=============================================
Yes. kids must have cell phones.
>> Yes, kids must have cell phones. 
A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones. But I don't see that.
>> Correct! OR A lot of parents say buying their children cell phones at their early age will spoil them and children do not need to have cell phones, but I don't see that.
I bought my daughter her cell phone this year. She is only 6 years old. 
>> Correct! 
However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an imergency with no adults around her. 
>> However, I thought that she has to know how to make a phone call to me or her mom and how to take our call when needed, like when she is in an emergency with no adults around her. 
The phone she has has the minimum function : making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
>> The phone she has has the minimum function: making calls, taking calls and taking pictures.
And when she gets older, I will buy her a new mobile phone with more functions.
>> Correct! 
The first and the foremost reason why I want buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!
>> The first and the foremost reason why I want to buy a cell phone for her is for her safety!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121663 Do you think Mr. Yoon\'s wife is getting more publicity these... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 1
121662 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 3
121661 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 0
121660 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 0
121659 Have you ever experienced talking to a rude person on the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 727
121658 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 683
121657 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 827
121656 Bug ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 1
121655 How do you think will this innovation change foldable displays... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 498
121654 Is it easy or difficult to get rid of a bad habit? Why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 851
121653 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 767
121652 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 2
121651 Homework ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 1114
121650 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 0
121649 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 926
121648 homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 1217
121647 anything ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 2
121646 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 871
121645 Previous class review À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 1
121644 Could liking chocolate be considered a \"vice\"? Why or why not? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-17 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04